When Overwhelmed is an Understatement

I just went back to see when my last entry was...almost 2 weeks ago. Everything is such a blur that I've had to go back through the entries on my desk calendar to remember what happened last week.

Last week was pretty normal - whatever normal is. It was a busy teaching week and the weekend was even busier with two parties to attend on Friday evening, one for Steeped Tea and the other for Partylite. The mom of a former student does a Partylite party every fall and I always go to see her and her sister in law who also had a daughter that took lessons from me - it's the only time I ever see any of them anymore. I had never been to a Steeped Tea party, but it was nice, I bought some tea for stocking stuffers and got to visit with some other ladies I rarely see anymore. Saturday morning was the annual rummage sale at the scrapbook store. I got lots of beautiful paper...12x12 sheets for only .10 each!! Fortunately my friend gave me a ride home as the weight of the paper and the rubber stamps I bought was quite heavy and I walked because daughter #2 borrowed my car while hers was in the shop.

Tuesday and Wednesday (the 12th and 13th) the boxes were constructed for the organ speakers, the holes were cut in the wall and the speakers were installed. The music director who also operates the Bible camp and has lots of woodworking experience took most of the work off my Hubby's shoulders which was a blessing as Mel is one of those guys that when he gets the urge to do something he goes at it with a vengeance until the job is done. With Hubby's schedule, it would have taken longer. Sunday was my first Sunday playing the organ with everything in place and it was a bit disappointing. I was still unable to hear the organ during congregational singing, mainly because of the percussive nature of the piano which means any chance of being creative, using different settings for different verses of some hymns is now not a possibility because if I can't hear with what I had going it would be much worse with anything else except something bigger...which brings up another point. Comments that came back after the service were "sounds great", "nice tone colors" and "is there a volume control on that thing". Too loud?? Really??

Monday afternoon was spent trying to figure out what to do about the volume. I am torn between wanting to allow the organ to be all it should be and not offending anyone. As a result, I found myself dissolved to tears and overwhelmed with stress. I came home and emailed my mentor, David and almost immediately a reply came back: "Is there anyone up at the church after eight tonight do you want to go over for just a bit and I can listen and see what's going on?  Call me- if you wish".

I called. I was concerned about him driving up as the roads were slippery but he said not to worry and promised to be careful. Hubby and I met him at the church where he played with the organ for about 10 minutes or so. I could sit and listen to him play and change registration and play some more for hours! Pastor T came in and talked to Hubby and I while he played. Pastor T said it sounded great...sure it did...the master was making music! The conclusion that night was that nothing in the organ needed to be adjusted, he found everything to be sounding good. His wise counsel was that I learn to cope with the difficulties as there is nothing to be done about the situation and that I have put off learning to comfortably use the expression pedals far too long and now I have no choice. "Julie, we've had this conversation before", he said. Yes, I know.

His encouragement overshadowed the mild scolding and in his eyes I found both love and pride. I needed that so much. I needed him to tell me it wasn't perfect, nothing is this side of Heaven, but that it was going to all be alright and I would learn to adapt and be fine. It's his faith in me that has kept me studying the organ through the years - sometimes I think he must wonder what he got himself into when he took me to hear the pipe organ for the first time!

Wednesdays practice day was better, but my tension has made it's way up to my shoulder and neck to the point where I had to visit my chiropractor yesterday. Nothing really out of place, but she did do some manipulation and I feel some relief today. I was supposed to go over and practice again today, but I can't start my car! Hubby had a very bad day at work yesterday, left this morning before I was up and never came home for lunch. He was supposed to jump it, but I think his work troubles have caused him to forget all about it. I just hope I can get to the church tomorrow...Hubby will have need of his truck and we have a heavy snow warning for tonight into tomorrow. I also just found out we are having communion on Sunday and so I have three more short pieces to prepare! In addition I need to do a big grocery trip tomorrow and should stop by the scrapbook store and there is a craft bazaar I was hoping to see. If I'm mobile it will be a busy day...if I'm not it will be stress filled, spent worrying about pulling everything together in the hour before church begins on Sunday morning. 

Last Sunday was also the Music Teacher's Association's Fall Recital...it went well and for the first time ever my studio was the most represented. We are already planning the next one, our Family Recital for just my studio - it will be on the 15th of December. 

I hate to say it, but I'm actually looking forward to the new year when, hopefully, my life will slow down some. I haven't even been able to think about Christmas gifts and writing out cards. 

SO...that's what's on my mind this afternoon. I did spend some time reading all your blogs that I have missed. Take a moment to say thank you or send a note of encouragement to your church organist or musicians...they have a lot to deal with. 

So Much Music, So Little Time

The last two weeks (I think it's been two weeks) is a blur. I remember some highlights, but I've been spending 3 1/2 hours at a time, 3 -4 days a week on the organ while at the same time, teaching 15 students and trying to cook for my husband and keep his laundry done. I'm trying to practice music for the coming Sunday as well as the big Thanksgiving service we are having and I have to start work on Christmas music if I'm going to have anything ready in time. Organ practice is mentally, emotionally and physically depleting. I haven't been online much and when I do get on, I'm so tired that I can't think clearly enough to put words into sentences, so I find myself on Facebook mindlessly playing a few games, liking, sharing and shutting it down again.

I have played the organ twice now in public but I'm having a very hard time until the speakers get in place and I can hear it like it's supposed to be. My mentor went on vacation for a week, I can't wait until I can see him again...I have so many questions. The men were gathering in groups yesterday talking about how the speaker job is going to get accomplished, I'm told they should be up and finished before next Sunday. Hubby will be so happy to have this project behind him, but it has been such a labor of his love to me. I can't tell you how much my heart swells when I think of all he has done to make this possible. If it wasn't for his hard work it wouldn't be...it just wouldn't. I'm excited to start planning our dedication celebration, but also very nervous because I want it to be perfect and I know that's not possible.

Friday afternoon I had planned to practice, but found myself being called away to spend some time with daughter #2. We visited a favorite shop which is open only one weekend a month and then she showed me around campus - the places where she spends most her time. It was a great afternoon.

I'm supposed to be working on cards, but I haven't had time to do that either. I need to make thank-you's for all the men who have helped with the organ installation, thank-you's for ladies who donated card supplies, cards to sell for the organ fund, cards for the visitation committee at church to send to church members and a get well card for Hubby's friend, not to mention my own Christmas cards! I was urged to try and take part in the Artist Trading Card trade this past Saturday and so I spent Friday night until 11:30 working on them and was back at them at 8:00 a.m. I finished 12 cards in time for the trade at noon. Probably not the best use of my time, but it keeps me active in the group.

After church yesterday I canned what tomatoes we were able to salvage from our crop this year, I only put up 2 quarts. Last night after church we had a pie social, so I brought an oatmeal pie I literally threw together in an hour. While we ate, I was able to touch base with an old friend. Years ago we used to have a Bible Study together and we were close, or so I thought we were...I wanted us to be. There is still something there, but it's like there is a barrier there. It seems that happens a lot, it must be me.

Well, I have been reading posts, just not responding much and I'm sorry but I honestly don't see that changing much until after Christmas.