Jesus Loves Me

Post Easter and I'm playing catch-up. The house was a disaster...every towel was dirty and I had several loads of sheets to wash. I haven't seen Facebook much in several days and I missed this weeks Hodgepodge.

I don't know about you but Holidays make life busy and stressful. As a church musician there is always more to do, practice and plan during the holiday seasons (although somewhat less for me now than in years past...more on that in another post to come), not to mention the stress of playing for a larger crowd and for those that have higher than usual expectations.
As a wife, mother and grandmother holidays revolve around family and food which once again means I am called upon to do more than usual. There may be stressful situations with family members as well which only adds to the overall stress of the day. Questions always are flashing in my mind, should I speak up, should I let it go, what's going to happen next, is this situation going to escalate? Then there's that one person that just seems to get under everyone's skin...like and itch you can't scratch. UGH! Don't get me wrong, I love holidays, I love being with my family even with all their quirkiness and brokenness but when I wave goodbye and watch the last ones drive away I experience emotions that throw me for a loop. I'm sad to see them go, I miss them while I can still see their car driving away...especially my precious granddaughter, but at the same time I'm grateful for some time to be quiet, calm my heart and spirit and finally have the chance to reflect on the meaning of the holiday that is now completely past and gone. 

Jesus Christ, God's Son, Savior, Lord. That's a lot to reflect on right there. 

I have to admit most Christmases and Easters find me not taking the time to reflect until the day is over and family is gone. This Easter I'm happy to tell you was amazingly a little different.

My precious granddaughter has always had a difficult time sleeping. I'm not sure what it is or why, but she just fights sleep...I know some babies can be like that for whatever reason. It wears on my son and daughter-in-law and of course being away from home can further complicate matters. It's my observance that the more they seem to stress about it the more of a struggle it becomes. Tempers flare between them and with other family members who are constantly shushed and told to turn down the TV, stop talking and laughing, etc. I learned to be a good mother-in-law/grandmother by watching my own mother. She was the best...yes, even my husband would attest to that. ;) Her way of navigating those waters was to only offer opinions or help when asked, so I've decided to adopt the same system. The second night here both my son and his wife had just about enough. They hadn't slept well the night before, the day was long, my granddaughter had kept us all busy keeping her out of trouble and they were on edge...just needed a rest themselves.

Finally they came to me and asked if I would try putting her to sleep...maybe I could think of something they hadn't tried. It's been 25 years since I've put a baby to sleep and I was a little afraid of not being successful but I gladly took that little angel in my arms and gave it my best shot. My studio was the only available space for her to sleep so I leaned back in my office chair and put my feet up on the piano bench and took a deep cleansing breath. As soon as I got comfortable she began to calm down while I patted her back and spoke to her softly. I never knew my heart could swell with so much love again! I haven't felt that way since I had my own sweet babies in my arms. I suddenly became aware of how blessed I am. More out of instinct that anything else I began to softly sing Jesus Loves Me and before I knew what happened the tears began to roll down my cheeks.

I was suddenly so aware of Easter and all it means. Jesus loves me...so simple yet so profound. 

I can't remember the last time I sang that song...probably 25 years ago. Jesus loves me...me...ME! Jesus loves me so much He came to earth as a baby, was born in a humble stable, lived a humble life teaching of God's love. Jesus loves me so much he suffered, bled and died on a cross then rose again to prove death has no sting...for Him or for me. Jesus loves me and is preparing a place for me with Him for eternity! Jesus loves me! It's in those quiet moments...even when we're not necessarily thinking spiritual thoughts or planning to say a prayer...just those quiet moments when we can finally be still and quiet that He puts His arms around us and reminds us of His love for us. He loves me just like I love that baby girl in my arms. Oh how precious that moment was for me. How blessed I was to be able to hold her, calm her, sing to her...love her.

She finally squirmed a little and I readjusted her so she wouldn't fall, then she squirmed again like she wanted down, but she was sleeping. I decided that must be her signal that she wanted her bed so I put her in the pack 'n play. She immediately found her comfort position and I patted her back for a few more minutes before leaving the room. I felt so blessed, so proud...so happy that I hadn't lost my touch and grateful that I was successful in the mission I was given. Because of those few precious moments of quiet with my baby girl the Lord reminded me in such a special way of His love for me...for her...for all of us on Easter...an Easter I hope I will never forget.

                                                        Thank you, Jesus. 

I was going to end this entry right here but this morning I found out my Aunt had a stroke and passed away on Easter. My Aunt Mary was my mother's brother's wife. She was born in 1930 on April 1st. She and my Uncle Ed were married when she was just 15!! They had four children together. I wasn't all that close to her really but for some reason it has been a difficult day. She was family and I no longer see my extended family anymore and though I have tried, only two of my cousins will make an effort to stay in touch with me. It's sad and I'm just missing family and the family connection today. 

I hope you all had a blessed Easter and have had your time of reflection on the love Jesus has for you.

A "Baptist" During Lent

I've been trying to start this entry for several days now. I just can't seem to put all my thoughts together in a logical progression...even now, this may all come out in jumbled bits. 

I am currently reading two books. I honestly chose them for two different reasons and thought one had nothing to do with the other, but sometimes when God wants to teach us something, he brings things together in ways we could have never imagined. 

The first book, my daughter gave me to read a year ago and I'm just now cracking it open. It's Reshaping It All by Candace Cameron Bure. It's geared more to someone my daughters age as Candace is a mom with children still at home, but I'm getting a lot out of reading it and I recommend it if you're working on making healthier choices for your life. Here are a few quotes from the book that have stood out to me:
 "acting with critical awareness, as in a conscious effort to do better."
"Conscious living involves choice."
"Conscious living involves determination."
"Conscious living involves accountability."
"It takes work, it takes diligence, and it takes commitment, but in order to accomplish everything, I have to keep my priorities in order."

The second book I'm reading is one from my mother's bookshelf. We were/are both big fans of Max Lucado's writings. It's called It's Not About Me. Particularly meaningful during the Lenten season is a story Lucado shares about a European priest who gathered the church for a special service. 
  "in the darkness of the night ...they waited.
Soon the priest arrived. "when he reached the crucifix that hung on the wall, he lit a candle. Saying nothing, he illuminated the pierced feet of Christ, then the side, then one hand, and then the other. Lifting the candle, he shed light on the blood masked face and the crown of thorns. With a puff, he blew out the candle and dismissed the church." pg. 69 "

It's about taking the focus off ourselves and putting the focus on God. On being "mirrors, reflecting God's glory." Everything we do is to bring Him glory. 

Both books talk about purposeful, intentional, committed, determined living....making the most of our time for our time here is "but a moment." 

Both books have mentioned I Corinthians 6:19 "Don't you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you?" Is it a coincidence that our pastor mentioned that verse in his message this morning? As Jethro Gibbs would say (for you NCIS fans), "I don't believe in coincidence". ;)

During the Lenten season, I recommend that believers pray and find the one thing in their lives upon which they depend the most that keeps them from depending upon Christ the most. It truly may be food, drink, approval of others, social media, or work. Commit to exercising a fast of whatever this "thing" is for the 40 days of Lent. Each time you feel the need to rely upon that "thing," let it be a reminder to you of your absolute dependence upon the Lord. Every time, for example, you feel a hunger pain, let it be a reminder to you of your soul's longing desire for God's presence that can only be filled through Christ.

Lent provides a unique time each year when believers can practice the discipline of self-examination. We examine ourselves and our deepest needs according to God's Word. It is also a time of anticipation as we look toward the promise and hope of Easter. We can practice the discipline of self-examination because we know the power of forgiveness and victory is ours through Jesus Christ.

 Rev. Dr. Page Brooks 

Baptist churches as a general rule don't observe Lent in the traditional way that other churches do. I have always been an "odd duck" as my mentor put it...I am an evangelical with liturgical tendencies. I "observe" Advent and Lent in my own way in my own devotional time, but it's never been touched as such in our church. As I mentioned before, since Gordon's passing I have felt the need to make some changes in my life, to set and accomplish a certain set of goals. Now, because of my readings, God has been showing me He is actually doing the leading in this process. He is showing me without a doubt what needs to change in my life. I don't think that the desires in my heart to make these changes following Gordon's passing are a coincidence with the things I have been reading. The desire was placed in my heart during a time when my heart was open to it and my reading has only confirmed it. What I'm still working on is the how...I'm taking that one day, one step, one moment at a time. Forty days Jesus spent in the wilderness preparing for what he was to face...forty days the Israelites wandered in the wilderness to prepare them for the promised land. 

I am excited about what God is going to teach me. 
Forty days...

I am Thine, O Lord, I have heard Thy voice,
And it told Thy love to me;
But I long to rise in the arms of faith
And be closer drawn to Thee.

Draw me nearer, nearer blessèd Lord,
To the cross where Thou hast died.
Draw me nearer, nearer, nearer blessèd Lord,
To Thy precious, bleeding side.

Consecrate me now to Thy service, Lord,
By the power of grace divine;
Let my soul look up with a steadfast hope,
And my will be lost in Thine.

O the pure delight of a single hour
That before Thy throne I spend,
When I kneel in prayer, and with Thee, my God
I commune as friend with friend!

There are depths of love that I cannot know
Till I cross the narrow sea;
There are heights of joy that I may not reach
Till I rest in peace with Thee.