Seeking Strength...Needing Discipline

I've been going back through my last few blog posts, reading them over and searching for the encouragement I found in them when I posted them. My crown is still tarnished and discouragement has set in. I have not only not made any progress but I have succeeded in taking further steps backward. 

I need 
           strength.....
                             encouragement...
                                                        and support 



but I refuse to mention it to anyone around me. I'm formulating some detailed plans for this next week and I hope I start to make some genuine progress. 

In other news, The Little Turquoise Palace aka The Little Turquoise House is getting a good cleaning and a little reorganization. Local businesses continue to close and our furniture store is the next to go. They are having a liquidation sale and I have wanted to replace the futon in our living room with a real grown up sofa that is actually comfortable to sit on for quite some time. I have been shopping for several years now for that perfect sofa and that perfect deal.

                                                Furniture is expensive! 

On the way home from the grocery store one day a couple of weeks ago, I saw the huge signs in the window of the store and before I even considered what I was doing, I pulled over and parked near the curb. I went in and found one I liked - it wasn't anything special, but the color would work in our space, it was the right size and it was VERY comfortable. They were busy and I had groceries in the car so I decided to go home and discuss such a purchase with Hubby. Surprisingly, he was all for it. He said it was my decision, so I thought about it for a few days and dismissed the idea. 

Driving through town a few days later I once again found myself stopping in front of the store. The couch was still there and the more I thought about it the more I wanted it so I mentioned it to Hubby again. He was still all for it but I worried about the money. We talked about price and he told me he felt we could manage $800.00 cash if I wanted to take it out of my piano lesson money. The couch was listed at $1049. He told me to take the cash in and tell her that's all I had. If she went for it, we'd have a couch, if not, I walk away. I thought about it long and hard, went back and forth, first thinking it was a good idea and the next moment I felt it was too extravagant. I went back to the store and This time a saleslady came and asked me what I was looking for. She directed me to the same style sofa I had looked at previously only in a different color as the other one had just sold. I wasn't sure about the goldish tone to this one, but I decided it might work. I told her it was too much that Hubby said I could only spend $800.00 total for everything including tax. She took out her calculator and punched in some numbers, then went back to talk to someone in the office. She came out and said she could let it go for $850.00 plus tax. I turned her down and she took out the calculator again. She asked if I needed it delivered and explained that with the sale they were very behind in their deliveries. I said it was possible we could manage it ourselves. She said she would be willing to let it go for $800.00 with no delivery, tax included, out the door but only if I sign the papers by close of business that day. If I waited until the next day it was back to $850.00 plus tax. I consulted with Hubby and then handed her the $800.00 cash and signed the paperwork. :) Not only did we have uncomfortable, broken down furniture, but our DVD player died and since we don't have cable, our only source of entertainment are our DVD's. We decided that I would buy Hubby a comfortable place to sit as a Valentine's gift and he would buy me a new DVD player! 

I listed both the futon and our broken, torn recliner on several local sales sites and was able to sell them both that same weekend and before the new couch arrived! I didn't even have to help Hubby move it thanks to some great college guys that attend our church!!

The new DVD player came with internet access so now we can use Daughter's Netflix account. I'm once again hooked on home improvement shows and my new favorite is Fixer Upper. The new couch precipitated a cleaning binge and a bit of redecorating with some ideas I got from Joanna Gains. Now that it's done, I love the look of the room and it's so much more comfortable now. 

Hubby had to take his truck to the "big city" 2 hours away for repairs today and I was able to go along. He dropped me off at Michael's and I had a half hour to shop. 

                                              Not. Long. Enough.

But I was grateful for the chance to get out for a bit and browse. I picked up a few scrapbooking supplies and also this letter as the final touch for our living room ... once again taking an idea from Joanna Gains. 

Well that's what I've been up to. It's getting late and I have some work yet to do so I will close this royal entry. Thanks for stopping in. Hopefully I'll be more worthy of my crown next time. 

Valentine's Day

It's a cold but sunny Sunday afternoon, everyone has some sort of plan as to how to spend the day except me. The sun is shining through the windows, pointing out my housekeeping shortcomings. I really should roll up my sleeves and clean, clean, clean but it's SUNDAY and besides, everyone else seems to be doing what they enjoy - why do I have to feel guilty for not doing what I do every day of the week...work?! It will all be there tomorrow and it will make me feel guilty then too and also make tomorrow more complicated, but it's SUNDAY!

 Genesis 2:3 Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.

We had church as usual this morning but had a carry-in Valentine dinner after services which made the day special. My dear Hubby - bless his heart bought both me and our daughter a corsage for the day. He said "I can't have my girls attending a special wing-ding at church without something special to wear." All together now.....AWWWWWWW. I KNOW, RIGHT? He is special and can have some real romantic notions once in a while. I was very proud to wear my corsage to church today. I got a few compliments and a few stares and giggles. I was the only wife and daughter and I were the only women there adorned with flowers. I don't care - I felt so special, so honored and so loved. Truly, it was just what this queen needed to help get her sparkle back.

I don't usually do this - I enjoy blogging because it makes me work on my writing skills and I find it a creative outlet but it's gotten so quiet here that I'm wondering if anyone is still reading. I will probably continue to blog even if I am just talking to myself...I'm used to it. I understand some of you are facing your own trials, some of you are busy and I understand if you've left for whatever reason, it happens, but if you do stop in even once in a while, would you be so kind as to leave a comment and let me know? Thank you.  

I hope your Valentine's Day is as happy and as special as mine has been. Happy Lord's day too and my He be your first love. 

Wednesday Hodge Podge

1. Create an acrostic using the word LOVE. If you're unsure what an acrostic is clickhere. 

L - lifetime

O - overcoming

V - valuable

E - everlasting

2. Does love really conquer all? Why or why not?
Yes, as exemplified in Jesus' work on the cross. Because of His great love for us he conquered sin and death through his death and resurrection. 

3. Tell us about a time recently, where you really put your heart into something.
Everything I'm passionate about...teaching piano/organ, practicing organ, relationships, scrapbooking. 

4. What's your favorite fictional love story?
My own. 

5. Do you generally wear your heart on your sleeve, or keep your cards close to the vest?

I wear my heart on my sleeve, but not intentionally. Anger, frustration, everything comes out in tears. I'm working very hard to learn to keep my cards close to the vest. I'm tired of putting myself "out there" for all to step on. 

6. What food says love to you? Why?
Anything my mom used to make...stuffed meatloaf, oatmeal pie, oatmeal cake. When I've had a bad day, these are the comfort foods I gravitate toward. 

7. When were you last 'tickled pink' over something? Explain.
Sunday. I purchased a new sofa on Friday and it wasn't until I took a nap on it on Sunday afternoon that the buyers remorse finally left me. It's sooooo comfy and it makes my home look so much nicer and company ready and it's sooooooooooo comfy! :)

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

Thanks to Joyce for helping me learn how to add the link at the top of this entry...It was working all along, I just didn't realize it. :)

Tarnished

I have to admit, my crown got a bit tarnished this past week. It all started when I wasn't feeling well...not sick, just not up to par if you know what I mean, and it spiraled from there. A good share of it was an apparent lack of time as well. It's tough to stay on track when there are so many demands vying for my time and it's all good, necessary stuff that just needs to get done somehow. I found myself discouraged which happens easily and then, just when I needed it, encouragement came through some articles that found me online. The first from Ann Voskamp again...
“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us

.”

Yeah, yeah, I’m a slow learner in a life going by fast — Every day, every moment, you only have one decision to make: what will you do with time.

It’s strange: You can want nothing more than time, and use nothing worst than time.

You can watch life.  Or actually play life. And only one way wins.

God gives us everything we need for space — but we will have to make space.

God gives us all the ingredients for time — but we will have to make time.

God gives us everything we need to live — but we will have to make a life.

No one just gets space. 

No one just gets time.

God gives you the raw materials — but you will have to make your life.

She tells quite an interesting story woven between the parts that I just quoted and I encourage you to read her entire entry...it's quite amazing. Thanks Ann, I needed that. I will find a way to make time.

The next bit of encouragement came from Christy Wright in an article called Take the First Step which was posted on Dave Ramsey's site.

"Sometimes, I just don’t feel like following through.

Maybe it’s raining or my back hurts or I’m tired. I can come up with 1,000 excuses on any given day, but the bottom line is this: I just don’t want to.

I want the end result, of course—a clean house, a bigger savings account and a slimmer body. But some days, I just don’t feel like doing the work required to get there.

So recently I’ve tried something new that helps me follow through on my plans even when I don’t feel like it.

I just take the first step.

Instead of thinking “I have to clean the entire house today,” I tell myself, “I’ll just put the laundry away.”

Or instead of feeling overwhelmed about getting up for going to the gym, I convince myself, “I’ll just put on my workout clothes.”

And you know what? It works.

Ten times out of ten, I follow through with the rest of the steps to reach my goal."

It does work. I find if I just start slowly with whatever project I'm dreading or putting off, pretty soon I'm realizing it wasn't as bad as I made it out to be and in some cases even enjoyable. I hope to see some more success and a shinier crown this next week. 

The Invisible Woman....Totally amazing and inspiring! Please ladies watch this!

Posted by Cindy Morrow-Ayers on Tuesday, December 15, 2009

One more thing has been holding me back, and this one affects my spirit more than anything else. I posted a video yesterday to my Facebook page, the link is above and I encourage all women to watch it.  I felt it was very timely for me and I think many of you will relate to it and maybe be encouraged by it, it's not very long. Anyway, I have long since gotten over the need to be recognized for all my hard work, being a wife and mother is thankless work (not to mention being a church organist) and I'm ok with that now. Along the same lines but slightly different is being made to feel I'm always wrong and also that my problems and/or struggles are not nearly as bad as those of the person I'm talking to. If I say something like "I'm so tired", they counter with why they are more tired than me, because they have so much more to do and their lives are so much harder. If I mention a problem I'm having I get advice which is fine, but when I've already tried said advice or I know from experience that it won't work, I am made to feel I'm always wrong or that I don't know what I'm talking about. On the upside, I'm learning not complain about anything, but I also feel like I have no one to confide in. I can't share anything about my life without being made to feel I'm wrong, it's all my fault, or it's really not worth mentioning. So as you can see....I need to work past this because when discouragement sets in, my crown gets tarnished and my calling gets forgotten. Anything worth doing takes hard work, focus and determination and my calling takes all of that. I am a wife, mother, piano teacher and organist and all those things require many hours of just showing up and doing the work. Hopefully, the results will come...one day. 

So I'm finding the time...often carving it out of the worst possible time of day for me, but I'm showing up, I'm doing the work, I'm putting in the effort and praying that God will help to bring the increase.