Tarnished

I have to admit, my crown got a bit tarnished this past week. It all started when I wasn't feeling well...not sick, just not up to par if you know what I mean, and it spiraled from there. A good share of it was an apparent lack of time as well. It's tough to stay on track when there are so many demands vying for my time and it's all good, necessary stuff that just needs to get done somehow. I found myself discouraged which happens easily and then, just when I needed it, encouragement came through some articles that found me online. The first from Ann Voskamp again...
“All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us."

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us

.”

Yeah, yeah, I’m a slow learner in a life going by fast — Every day, every moment, you only have one decision to make: what will you do with time.

It’s strange: You can want nothing more than time, and use nothing worst than time.

You can watch life.  Or actually play life. And only one way wins.

God gives us everything we need for space — but we will have to make space.

God gives us all the ingredients for time — but we will have to make time.

God gives us everything we need to live — but we will have to make a life.

No one just gets space. 

No one just gets time.

God gives you the raw materials — but you will have to make your life.

She tells quite an interesting story woven between the parts that I just quoted and I encourage you to read her entire entry...it's quite amazing. Thanks Ann, I needed that. I will find a way to make time.

The next bit of encouragement came from Christy Wright in an article called Take the First Step which was posted on Dave Ramsey's site.

"Sometimes, I just don’t feel like following through.

Maybe it’s raining or my back hurts or I’m tired. I can come up with 1,000 excuses on any given day, but the bottom line is this: I just don’t want to.

I want the end result, of course—a clean house, a bigger savings account and a slimmer body. But some days, I just don’t feel like doing the work required to get there.

So recently I’ve tried something new that helps me follow through on my plans even when I don’t feel like it.

I just take the first step.

Instead of thinking “I have to clean the entire house today,” I tell myself, “I’ll just put the laundry away.”

Or instead of feeling overwhelmed about getting up for going to the gym, I convince myself, “I’ll just put on my workout clothes.”

And you know what? It works.

Ten times out of ten, I follow through with the rest of the steps to reach my goal."

It does work. I find if I just start slowly with whatever project I'm dreading or putting off, pretty soon I'm realizing it wasn't as bad as I made it out to be and in some cases even enjoyable. I hope to see some more success and a shinier crown this next week. 

The Invisible Woman....Totally amazing and inspiring! Please ladies watch this!

Posted by Cindy Morrow-Ayers on Tuesday, December 15, 2009

One more thing has been holding me back, and this one affects my spirit more than anything else. I posted a video yesterday to my Facebook page, the link is above and I encourage all women to watch it.  I felt it was very timely for me and I think many of you will relate to it and maybe be encouraged by it, it's not very long. Anyway, I have long since gotten over the need to be recognized for all my hard work, being a wife and mother is thankless work (not to mention being a church organist) and I'm ok with that now. Along the same lines but slightly different is being made to feel I'm always wrong and also that my problems and/or struggles are not nearly as bad as those of the person I'm talking to. If I say something like "I'm so tired", they counter with why they are more tired than me, because they have so much more to do and their lives are so much harder. If I mention a problem I'm having I get advice which is fine, but when I've already tried said advice or I know from experience that it won't work, I am made to feel I'm always wrong or that I don't know what I'm talking about. On the upside, I'm learning not complain about anything, but I also feel like I have no one to confide in. I can't share anything about my life without being made to feel I'm wrong, it's all my fault, or it's really not worth mentioning. So as you can see....I need to work past this because when discouragement sets in, my crown gets tarnished and my calling gets forgotten. Anything worth doing takes hard work, focus and determination and my calling takes all of that. I am a wife, mother, piano teacher and organist and all those things require many hours of just showing up and doing the work. Hopefully, the results will come...one day. 

So I'm finding the time...often carving it out of the worst possible time of day for me, but I'm showing up, I'm doing the work, I'm putting in the effort and praying that God will help to bring the increase.