Discoveries

As I wrote yesterday, only a few days into my Lenten project and already I'm struggling with discouragement and self-doubt. The amazing thing is, right on cue...God shows up and starts His encouragement campaign. 

The first thing He did is shown in this the above photo that I took from my kitchen window...look closely...do you see it? A cross, glowing in the sunset at the end of the day as if to say "I did this for you, you can do this for me." 

Last night, wanting to make some headway in one of my projects, I went to a shelf where I've been storing boxes of memorabilia and chose one at random to look through. These boxes contain things my mother saved from my childhood as well as things I saved for each one of my children of their childhood. Awards, poems, artwork, cards, etc., all collecting dust and musty smells from the basement. It's time to sort, and find a better storage system until I can get the scrapbooks made. As I looked through the box in hopes of discarding some things, I came across two very special surprise items. 

My mother used to paint a lot of paint by number pictures. I know, there are all kinds of jokes out there about how cheesy paint by number are, but my mother had creative inclinations and no money or opportunity for training of any kind so she made art in the only way she could. She became very good at it. I remember being fascinated watching her paint so carefully and skillfully into those teeny tiny spaces and keep her lines so straight. I did it too a time or two and enjoyed it very much. I know she also did it to fill her lonely evenings and to keep her hands busy and her mind occupied. When we moved into this house I remember packing a picture she had painted of a girl in a large straw hat. It was always one of my favorites and I wanted to be sure it was saved. Since we moved in I have searched and searched for that picture and haven't been able to find it. I thought it was the only one of her paintings left until I found two in the box! They are both of Christ....one as the 'Good Shepherd' the other with the 'crown of thorns'. They are damaged slightly, but look fine from a distance. I'm so happy to have them and am amazed I found both of them this week of all times. 

My mother was also famous for writing everything down. She used to take scraps of paper, staple them together and put them in her purse for grocery lists or for copying down things she found while we were out and about. She wrote down everything from Scripture verses, to poems, to hymn texts. She would often scavenge scraps of paper that had something on one side but blank on the other for her supply. One such paper had the text to a hymn she had written down on one side and the remnant of a note from Gordon on the other! It said "Well I guess I've gone on long enough. I hope I've been able to encourage you to press on. Have a wonderful Christmas season. In Him and His love, Gordon K. Page." 

The tears came. All those memories flooding back again...the amazing way he always made me feel. I wish I had the rest of this letter...I don't remember it and I have no idea how it came to be in my mother's scrap paper file...GRRRR , but I'm glad I have at least this much. Once again, I'm tired, discouraged and beaten down and as if he reached down from Heaven and handed the note to me for the first time, it refreshed my spirit. Just when I needed someone to tell me to "press on", just when I needed some encouragement, it comes...from a most unlikely source...a dear friend, now in Heaven. What a special gift to me! 

I want to share one more picture with you before I close just because it makes me smile and I hope it will do the same for you. 

Have a good night all!

Summer Rain

We just experienced the most wonderful rain! There was a little thunder but no visible lightning and once it got going it was one of those nice, steady, soaking type rains...just what we needed. It came at a time of day that brought back memories of my childhood.

Nearly every afternoon in the summer when I was young we could set our clocks by the rain. It would come in around 5:00 or so just when dad's were coming home and it was time to go inside for supper. We would eat to the sound of the rain forming puddles in the yard, then by 7:00 or so it was over and all the neighborhood children would head back outside to splash barefooted in the gutters. It rarely failed to disappoint.

I remember summer evenings after those rains. There were several of us kids living on or near the corner of that street. We lived next to the corner house where Karen and Joey lived...Karen was my brothers age, about 4-5 years younger than me. Then Denise lived across the street from them, she was in my grade at school. Roger lived next door to us on the other side, he was one year younger than me and his sister, Gwen was a year older than me. Also in that family was Mary, Steve, Greg and Cindy - the last four were all too old to be caught playing with us. Although, we used to rent out a small cottage behind our house to a single young man and all the girls in the neighborhood were ga-ga! Mary would come out and pretend to join in with us when he was out working on his car. We would play hide-and-go-seek, red rover or freeze tag, running in and out of all the yards until we couldn't see each other's faces or our mother's started yelling for us to come in. Those were the days, such simpler times...today I miss them.

I had a massage therapy appointment today. It wasn't as bad as I had expected, though my usual chronic problems reared their ugly heads. My therapist told me about how our bodies hold onto things like stress and grief and how the left side of our bodies relates to the female, while the right side relates to the male. One of my chronic issues is my left hip and leg. The hip is in the center area of the body and does a lot to support and carry the rest of the body...being on the left side, the female side, she suggested perhaps I am holding onto grief for my mother and it is being "stored" in my hip, that if I could find a way to release it my pain might diminish, maybe even go away entirely. How do you let go of grief?

I'm also having a great deal of pain and tension in my right shoulder. She said the shoulder is often where we "shoulder" our burdens, concerns and worries and since it is on the right side, that suggests by worry would be regarding a significant male in my life. She said she had the same issue going on about the same time she learned about this theory. She said she was having right shoulder pain and not only did she want to rid herself of the pain, but she wanted to try the theory out for herself. She thought long and hard about what it could be, but couldn't figure it out. Not long after that, her husband quit smoking and her pain went away. When she realized it was gone, she thought about what had happened and realized how worried she had been about her husbands health. It made her a believer in what she originally thought was just far-fetched.

I am worried about my husbands health and stress levels and the fact that he also shoulders everything for the entire family. I worry about what would happen if something happened to him  - where would I turn? How would I manage? What would I do? We have no savings, I know nothing about the business, how to sell it and all the equipment, I don't have a job that would pay well enough to support me, and finding work at my age in a small town will be next to impossible. I know nothing about cars, insurance, or anything because he refuses to teach me or go over what to do just in case, no matter how many times I have asked or expressed how much I need him to lay it all out for me.

I do still carry grief for my mother and all the thoughts of my childhood summers brought back some lovely memories of her always being home and always being there for me. Perhaps I carry that in my hip. I miss her, I will always miss her and I grieve...how do I let go of that? I have no idea.

The rain has passed for now but the clouds remain - the coolness is welcome as is the light breeze coming in the studio window. The crickets are singing and this summer remains for just a short time, then it to will be just another memory.

Small Town Saturday

Clear

55°F Feels Like: 55°

It's a cool morning and we're only expecting a high of 66. Despite what the picture says, it is mostly cloudy - as a matter of fact, I don't see any sun at the moment at all. We've had a lot of rain, which I am glad for, but at the same time it's been so cool that our garden is way behind schedule. 

Today is Pasty Fest in our little town. The parade start is in the next block and many of the participants are driving past the Little Turquoise House on their way to line up. I get to see horse drawn wagons, old cars and fire trucks...woo-hoo! I used to enjoy parades when we first moved here...I guess I enjoyed them through my children's eyes; now that they are grown I don't walk over to stand on the curb and worry about the children darting into the street for candy...once a mom, always a mom! There will be vendors with food and games in the park, once again, not so much fun without the kids or someone to walk and talk with. I have gone over by myself, but I'm almost always disappointed, so...not this year.

I've been spending my time teaching, practicing and scrapbooking. For the most part it's all good. Wednesday I went into town by myself to run errands and shop. I realized I hadn't been to town by myself since last fall! It was so nice! I did splurge a little on myself...I bought a top at Walmart for $10.00

See how nicely it dresses up? 

and a skirt at Goodwill for $4.00.

I also looked at some shoes that I really want because I like the look of them but also because I think they will be quite practical, but they

didn't have my size so they are bringing it in from another store. I will go back next Wednesday when I take Suki to the vet for her shots and try them on, then decide. Since I have so much trouble with my feet, they are $85.00 shoes so I have to make sure they are a good fit. I didn't much like the attitude of the salesman though. 

Thursday afternoon was my matinee day at the organ in the Heritage Center, then the Anita's and I had our lunch date yesterday. After we ate we took her to the Heritage Center again where some painting needed to be done and Anita suggested I practice the organ so they could enjoy some music while she painted. So I had two practice days in a row...I'm not complaining. I must remember to take business cards when I go from now on as there is almost always someone there asking about lessons or just interested and could maybe pass one on. 

GOOD NEWS! I have TWO...count them...TWO new students!! I blogged about my new neighbors a while back, well, they have a 14 year old daughter that has been trying to teach herself piano and wants to take lessons! She came on Thursday, shaking with nerves, but we made it through the get acquainted session and her books are on order. Then to my surprise I got a hit on an online local music group where I posted an ad. It must have been God's timing, because I just posted it and heard immediately from a mom looking for a teacher for her 11 year old daughter. We emailed back and forth several times...I'm always a bit concerned when doing business over the internet...I wanted to make sure she was legit. Long story short, she has ordered the necessary materials and her daughter is to begin lessons on the 11th! If all my students from last season return in the fall and my new ones continue on, I will have a nice number.

I started a new scrapbook page last night; I'm now working on my grandmother's pages which brings to mind memories of sitting with my mother as I listened to her tell me stories about her since she had died when I was just a baby. I remember a far away look she would get in her eye when she talked of her. I will spend my day working on those today...and remembering... 

Where Inspiration Took Me

Now that Mother's Day dinner, gifts, and phone calls are a thing of the past and Mother's Day 2013 is but I memory, I have had a few moments to settle into the quiet which has brought me to fully reflect on my mother and of course how much I miss her and missed spending Mother's Day with her. 

I posted earlier of a new blog I had been looking through; it got my creative juices flowing again and that combined with the thoughts of my mom brought me to creating a trading card in her honor. I was going to wait and share it with the other trading cards for the month of June, but I couldn't wait. 

May I present "Mother's Day Roses". 

Can you tell I'm pleased with how it turned out? Yes, that's a photo of my mom as a young girl in the center of that rose. I couldn't resist making two, one to trade and one to keep. 

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

Cookie Night!

Hubby and I met in college. We attended a very strict Bible college which did not allow any "public displays of affection" of any kind. We could not even hold hands on campus in public. One of the romantic things we started doing then was walking to the reservoir which was on campus but was blocked from view, it was the only place on such a small campus that a young couple could be alone. It was there we started observing "cookie night". On the full moon (when it was easier to see where we were walking), we would pack some cookies and head up to the reservoir to spend some much needed time alone where we could talk...yes, talk... out of the earshot of every other student on campus. I enjoyed those walks so much. It was dark and quiet and afforded us the chance to really get to know each other. I remember one night in particular that we were walking along the dirt road...this tiny campus was out in the sticks...and we heard the sound of hooves pounding on the ground. It wasn't until we were nearly run over by a herd of deer that we knew just how close they were to us! One other time I decided to make a batch of no-bake cookies, problem was, I forgot to allow the mixture to boil for a few minutes and we had to eat our "cookies" by scooping wet globs out of the dish...I should have taken a spoon!

Over the years we observed cookie night on occasion, but with the coming of children and a business to run and other activities, it was mostly forgotten or remembered after the fact. I can't tell you how many times I said..."oh last night was the full moon, I should have made cookies". Well...since tonight is the full moon and a blue one....making it extra special...today I baked cookies. I guess when we take the dogs out for their last walk tonight we will take some cookies with us and look at the moon.