An amazing life cut much too short.
My mind is beginning to come out of the fog. I say beginning because I’m still struggling to find the words I want to convey. Maybe there truly are no words. I know it’s not ours to reason or ask why, but I can’t help but scratch my head and wonder why he had to leave us so soon when he clearly had so much more to give. I know God’s timing is perfect and I believe G would be the first to remind me of that so I’m trying to rest in that truth.
Oh the things that come to mind when someone we love passes...my thoughts were: did I ever tell him how much he truly meant to me...I can’t remember if I told him...I hope I did, or I hope somehow he knew. I think I always wanted to tell him but wasn't quite sure how, he was such a humble man and I would have gushed, maybe even teared up and probably embarrassed him.
I've been living on Facebook the last couple of days, grieving with others who love him...some of those people I don’t even know, but a strange sort of bond is there. We all keep repeating the same things. I knew he meant a lot to a lot of people, but I never truly realized how much of a small pebble I am in the vast ocean of people whose lives he touched and influenced. He always made me feel like I was the most important. I’m sure he did that to everyone he came in contact with...how did he do that? How did he make us all feel so special??
I met G my first day on campus at Western Bible College in the fall of 1978. I had been to registration and was given his name and told to report to him as my guidance counselor. I knocked on his office door (which was almost always open) and was told to come in and he greeted me with a smile which was cradled between two dimples. I told him that I was told he was my guidance counselor and handed him the papers from the office. He took one look and said, “I see you’re a piano major”, I nodded and he smiled almost an evil smile and said “you’re going to be spending a lot of time with me”. Part of the requirements for a music major was to be in the college chorale, so he sent me across the hall to audition for the choir director. I thought, no problem, I've been in choirs all my life. I was devastated when he told me to try the next year because he didn't need any more altos. I went back to G’s (Mr. P’s) office and told him what happened. Without a word and with great purpose, he sauntered out of the office, coat tail swinging. All was quiet until I heard the choir director say in a rather annoyed and loud tone “well, I sure wish they’d inform me first as to who my majors are”. Mr. P came back down the hall and told me everything was straightened out.
Spend a lot of time with him indeed! Private lessons, theory class, accompanying his voice students, an excellent class on the Philosophy of Church Music, choir rehearsals and a 2 week choir tour, not to mention random times just talking. He always had a fun joke, comment or quip to keep us laughing and having fun, yet it was always tempered in good taste and only when appropriate. We used to pester him trying to find out what the “K” (his middle initial) stood for and he refused to tell us. He’d smile and say “Kutie”. Whenever I would tease, pester or make a silly comment he’d say, “don’t give me grief, girl” which was always followed by that dimpled smile and a wink. That's what he's saying to me as I took this picture of him on the beach, by the way. Joy just seemed to bubble over and out him. All he had to do was walk in the room and I felt instantly better. To G, life was meant to be fun.
I have so many special memories of him…
The first thing G did upon arriving at a church on choir tour was find the piano and take it for a test run. I remember one time...I don’t even remember where we were, but I was walking into the church suitcase in hand, trying to find the room we were to use to get ready and I saw G nearly sprinting down the corridor. When he spotted me his eyes grew large and a big smile spread over his face. He said excitedly and half out of breath, “Julie, Julie, come here, I have to show you something!” I curiously followed him into the very large sanctuary of the church and down the aisle to the platform where sat the largest grand piano I had ever seen. He gestured to it, “nine feet, it’s a nine foot concert grand piano!” “Play it, play it, sit down and play it.” I hesitated. His face grew more serious and he said, “Julie you have to play it, you’ll probably never again have the chance to say you've played a nine foot concert grand piano!” He handed me a hymn book and gestured for me to play. I sat down and took in the length of it as it stretched out in front of me. The top was in it’s fully open position and all the strings lay before me...beckoning. I slowly played one note at a time, then a few more. I played a hymn. I can’t remember what I played, only that I did and he smiled and his eyes sparkled. The touch, the feel of it, the sound of it was something I had never before experienced. We talked a bit about how it felt...how it sounded, the richness of the tone and then he sent me back to prepare for the concert. I took my time walking back up the aisle, I walked backwards because he had taken my place on the bench and I didn’t want to stop listening to the music that was then filling the room. He was right! That was the one and only time in my entire life that I have ever seen a nine foot concert grand piano, much less got to play one!! I’ll never forget the experience and I’m so glad we shared it together.
Malted milk balls! His wife used to send Bridge Mix with him to work...he loved his Bridge Mix, but he didn't care for the malted milk balls. He told me this one day as he was picking them out of the bowl and I told him I loved malted milk balls. From that day on, he saved his malted milk balls for me. One day I came in for my lesson and he had them all lined up on the music rack on the piano. He’d have me work on a section of my music, then he’d say, “good job, have a malted milk ball”. We’d go back to work and after a while he’d say, “you've earned another malted milk ball”. To this day I never eat a malted milk ball that I don’t think of G!!
Oh the hours I spent in his office either for a lesson, or to get extra help with my theory or just because I needed help sorting out problems. He always had a wise, Godly answer for me. G was always there for me whenever I had a question or a problem, I was never turned away, he was never too busy. I loved music but I was never the best student and it didn't come easy for me. I couldn't have asked for a more kind, caring, patient teacher, even when I was perpetually late for theory class. It didn't help that it was at 7:00 in the morning! He never gave up on me and always encouraged me, I truly believe he honestly believed in me. I still regret not being able to continue my studies with him after I married, I had so much yet to learn...still do, and I would love to go back and not be so timid to pick his brain more. If I have one regret in life it’s that I did not have more time to study under GP. I am so blessed beyond measure to have had his guidance and influence in my life! My music is decorated with his handwritten comments, tips and encouragements...continual reminders of our time together at the piano.
Even my mother knew what a treasure he was! He made a record album, playing his own piano arrangements as a promotional tool for the college. You should have seen her face the Christmas I gave her that album! How she loved to listen to him play. He would play dinner music all evening at the college banquets and I would bring her just to watch her as she listened to him. Priceless! He would even come to my home to tune my piano and then spend time just playing it much to our abundant enjoyment! I would never tire of listening to him play!
Oh, and guess who played both the piano and the organ at my wedding?? YUP! I love this photo! I don't remember what he said to Hubby's dad and my mom on his way to give me a hug in the receiving line, but it was something typically "G".
We lost touch for a while, but started exchanging Christmas letters and soon others followed once in a while. Later it was emails. It’s difficult to find closure from so far away, especially when our communication was now limited to the internet. I would share things to my Facebook page that I knew he’d appreciate or enjoy just to watch for him to “like” or comment. Today when I saw something he would enjoy I went to post it only to remember he wasn't there to see it. I've been told how unusual it is to stay in touch with a former teacher for so many years...yes, I suppose it is.
I couldn't believe it when I found out he’d been diagnosed with cancer. I remember Hubby saying “there are just some people the curse shouldn't be allowed to touch. I shared his story with my students, who indirectly, are his students too and we prepared a care package for him. Upon it’s arrival he wrote a letter and in it he expressed thanks to each student and specifically mentioned them by name...not to mention some very special comments he had for me. We talked about after he was well again he’d come up here and give a master class for my students and go on a tour of local pipe organs. He said “now that would be fun”.
Of course, not only was he an amazing pianist, talented composer, choir/ensemble director, lyric tenor, voice teacher, piano tuner, figure skater and skating coach, he was also an organist. I emailed him when I began learning the organ and he seemed pleased. I remember he asked me once if I wanted to learn the organ and I turned him down. WHY?? I have no idea! I guess it wasn't time or I just wasn't ready for whatever reason. Looking back now I think, no, I’m pretty sure he must have known I was more suited to the organ than the piano. When I was preparing for the organ recital last August, he was quietly involved...encouraging. I am now the proud owner of an organ suite he wrote and sent to me. I will be playing one of the pieces from it this Sunday (2-7) for my offertory and since I cannot be in Texas to pay my respects on Monday, I will spend the afternoon practicing only his music. I hope it will be a fitting tribute. I’m hoping to play his arrangement of “O For A Thousand Tongues” during the Easter season and it needs quite a bit of work yet. Maybe I’ll lay in a supply of malted milk balls. ;).
G was always busy. There was always new music to compose, something to learn, a piano to tune, a choir to direct...a song that needed to be sung. God's song. G dedicated his life to singing, playing and teaching God's song...God's word in music form. He taught me that worship music is to be God centered, that learning music takes hard work and dedication but that it's supposed to be fun. He taught me to practice, practice and practice some more and that if I practiced enough it would eventually click. He reminds me that life is to be celebrated and that a life given to God for His service is a life of pure joy.
Thank you G for your kindness, patience, encouragement, support and love. I am eternally grateful to you and our Heavenly Father for allowing you to be part of my life. With the time I have left on this earth, I hope to make you proud. Like I said on Facebook, please save me a spot on the bench G, we'll share music again someday!
