Trust In The Lord Part One

This evening I found myself with my nose pressed up against the screen door as I listened to the sounds of the neighborhood, inhaled the scents of summer/fall and watched the color of the trees change and deepen with the setting of the sun. Today was one of the last beautiful days of fall. Our fall season up here can be awfully short; it's been so wet and cold this fall and the last few days have been so lovely, almost like summer. I'm not a fan of winter and fall is my favorite, I just wish it would last longer. Not only was the weather beautiful today, but I was privileged to have lunch with my dear friend and mentor. If you have read my blog for a while, you'll know that the man that taught me everything I know about playing the organ is now one of my dearest friends. We only live a 10 minute drive from each other but we only see each other about once a year and that's if I do everything I can to make it happen. Today was the day. We have one of those friendships where we just start talking like no time has passed. We had so much to catch up on today. I've also been quite wistfully melancholy of late. October is my month. I was born in October and so was my mother; she and I were very close. Her birthday was near the beginning of the month and mine more toward the end so we'd start celebrating with hers and we'd celebrate all month until mine. I miss her terribly, but mostly in October. We used to buy each other gifts and do nice things for each other all month long, always using the excuse, "it's for your birthday" when we knew darn good and well we had already spent and done above and beyond. It was special though and I can't quite let go of the tradition so I tend to try to find ways to treat myself during the month. Silly I suppose.

July was the last time I posted, which has been far too long. I did go back and delete a few posts, they were quite negative and too descriptive if the wrong readers should happen to find this blog. They were all about the struggles we've had at church and I really shouldn't have shared the specifics in such detail. My apologies.

Here are the teasers for the continuing saga of Trust In The Lord.

During the month of August I continued to struggle with all that was going on at church and watch it go from bad to worse. I played for the last hymn sing and our last Sunday was August 11. Stay tuned to learn how I've had to place my trust in the Lord as we both left one church family and became part of a new one.

Also in August was The Deer Chase a mountain bike race my husband heads up and manages. Deer Chase weekend is always stress filled at our house but this year it started off with a bombshell that would rock our foundation for several weeks!

Just prior to all of this going on we also decided it was time to purchase a new to us car as my husband was becoming more and more concerned for my safety.

At the end of September my second granddaughter gave us quite the scare and it remains to be seen if any permanent damage has been done and just what is ahead for her future.

Now I find I'm facing a health issue I had so hoped I could avoid.

To say the months of August and September have been emotional and stressful is an understatement but through it all God has been good to us and we praise Him for upholding us. Hopefully I will be back in a few days to expound on each of these events.

If you stopped by, please leave a note so I know you were here and can visit you as well.

In the meantime if fall is beautiful in your area, do enjoy it.

Royal blessings,

Prayer Warrior

Once again it has been awhile...a long while. I know I'm not a very consistent blogger and for that I'm sorry because I would love to be here regularly. Maybe if I were I would have more followers that I could interact with which would lead to more friendships but I simply cannot devote the time to it that some of you do. In trying to catch up on some of the blogs I like to frequent, one blogger said she'd be away for a while because she couldn't think of much to write about. I've known those days and have had many but lately it seems I am so busy and could write about so much but I just don't find the time to sit down and write or I can’t seem to find the mental energy to form the words.  Feast or famine and both it seems lead to inconsistent blogging.

Now to resume...

Have you ever had a prayer warrior come alongside and pray earnestly for you at any time in your life or have you been a prayer warrior for someone else? I hope you have been blessed by both in your life. Today I’d like to introduce you to my prayer warrior...it’s quite an interesting story.

There is a small Village Missions church in the next block and several years ago they purchased the house next door to us to be used as a pastors house.  Over the past few years I have enjoyed getting to know the pastor and his wife...she and I chat over coffee on her deck from time to time. Two years ago when things started really falling apart at church I needed to talk to someone outside of my church who could offer me Godly counsel, so I went to her and was welcomed with open arms. When the new pastor at my own church almost had me doubting my own beliefs I found confirmation with her.  When we first met we added each other on Facebook and she discovered that we had many friends in common yet we had never met. While comparing notes we found out that many of my friends from the Christian college I attended had spent time serving at a Bible camp where she used to cook. We thought that was pretty remarkable until we talked more and found out that we used to live in the same town. When she asked my address, we soon realized we used to be neighbors...living back to back with each other in a suburb of Denver. Neighbors now neighbors again! What are the odds? This is my neighbor's house...her backyard is connected to my side yard. It will be a while before we're enjoying coffee on her deck again!

Last summer we visited my neighbor’s church. It was nice to get away from the drama, but we weren’t sure it would ever be a church home for us. After that she has made herself available to me anytime I need to talk and has put me on her daily prayer list. She invites me to fellowships and ladies events and Dear Husband and I  joined a Bible Study at their church this fall and have enjoyed the in depth study that we have been missing at our church and the rich fellowship also now missing from our church. Anytime any new development arises she is right there by my side praying me through and suffering with me. We bumped into each other in the grocery store one day and had an impromptu chat and prayer right there in the store. She is amazing and I am so very grateful for her diligent display of Christian love.

We are still at our church...drama and all. Some would ask why in the world, but there are a few that still appreciate my ever shrinking ministry and though it becomes more and more inconsequential, for now we don’t feel the call of the Lord to leave. We know that I am no longer wanted by the leadership and if I left my position I would free the leadership to complete the transformation of the ministry there. For that reason we will most likely leave soon but there is so much to think about, so much to leave behind and starting over is not something I relish either. In the meantime I try to be there for those friends that need me...I am often a sounding board of frustration and sadness. If/when we leave we will plan to start over at my neighbor’s church...at least I know I’ll have support. She says “just come, let us love on you while you heal”.  

God bless her!

In other news the blizzard of 2019 left us with quite a large load in our yard. Yes that is what is left of my clothesline pole...note the 6 foot high "privacy" fence between our property and the yard behind us! 

But it's going to take a while before it looks like spring around here! 

Ephesians 3:14-21

For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and
on earth derives its name,
that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened
with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your
hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be
able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and
height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge,
that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.

Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen.

Walk with a fellow believer today or let someone walk with you...

Royal blessings, 

Two Years!

                         Time flies so very quickly,

It's been two years since I wrote my featured post  ( you can find it here ). I think if you take the time to read it and the attached articles you will understand more where I'm going with this Two years since I felt God leading me to live my life with intention, take charge of my procrastination and generally get my life in order.

                                                            I stumbled upon these ladies. I instantly        felt drawn to the whole idea of being "Queen of my own life". 

You will see them featured on my blog from time to time. I find them inspirational. As a woman of faith I have to balance that idea with Scripture and be careful to read and understand that thought through an eyeglass of faith. Isn't living the Christian life one of discipline at times?

One of you who read my blog recently reminded me that being gracious is not the same as being a doormat and I agree and appreciate the reminder. Sometimes as a queen I have to stand up for what is right, for what I believe and also as queen I have to keep my own "castle" in order.



                                                              Are we not children of
                                                                     The King? 
                                     Are we not a royal priesthood?

So began a year of living life to the fullest...more in touch with the Holy Spirit of God than I had ever been and then 2017 came and I fell apart. I did fine for a while, then a few things out of my control fell apart in my life. I had family struggles and issues at church and as the stress mounted, everything I had planned to get in order fell further apart.

                  But now I'm choosing not to dwell on the misfortunes and                                               mistakes of last year. 
                                     it is time once again to reign over my life, 
                          
2017 is over and I honestly don't know where it went but I'm glad it's done.




So I'm starting again...but where? I think the most important thing at this point is to get healthy again. I'm starting a new health journey which involves a new diet and hopefully a new exercise program. One step at a time...first the diet. I will be juicing my breakfast which will consist of:

                                                    apple, cucumber, celery, spinach, kale, lemon and ginger

Lunch will be a smoothie made with:
apple, blueberry, almond butter, flax, cinnamon, turmeric, ginger, coconut milk and spinach

Before breakfast and lunch I will drink Slim and I will eat a regular but healthy supper as well as drinking half my body weight in ounces of water. Sundays are my free day...not to go nuts and eat whatever I want, but I will have regular healthy food all day.

I hope to do this for 6 weeks and at that time I will assess how it's going, how I'm feeling and whether to continue or make some changes.
                                                                                                               

 In addition to getting my health in check I will be working on getting my home organized and most importantly trusting God to show me how to live a majestic and gracious life in my church...balancing the ministry I'm called to do in what I see as a conspiracy against use of the organ. I simply do not understand why it has to be either/or...why can't they see the organ can be relevant in the contemporary church?

Today in church Pastor began a series in Daniel.
He talked about how Daniel and his friends were taken from their homes, given new names that didn't match their faith and Daniel allowed it all...he compromised up until the point he decided he wouldn't eat the kings food and defile himself.
                                                                                               Pastor then gave us the "wisdom test" ----- Even if I'm right , am I irritated, frustrated, angry? Am I trying to just win the battle or show them Jesus?

I still haven't figured out where he was going with that thought and I'm ashamed to say I got stuck there and didn't hear much else he said. He made me feel like if I'm irritated, frustrated or angry I should step back and compromise. I don't know that I agree with that completely.
                                                                                                   Of course if there is conflict of opinions there is going to be irritation, frustration and anger on both sides.

And what about "righteous anger"?
                                            Jesus clearing out the temple...He was angry but rightfully so! All things to think about and I'd love to hear your thoughts if you have them. Tonight we'll talk about the sermon at small group so maybe I'll get some answers there.



So there you have it...hopefully next post I'll have some progress to share.

SMAD

I think I'm struggling with my "royal duties" this weekend.

After last week's attack on my beliefs I'm finding it difficult to be loving and gracious. Yesterday I posted an article on my Facebook page which I hoped would be informational about something that is near and dear to my heart but instead it caused anger in one of our church members and I took it down to avoid further problems. I don't know if this person didn't read it and just made assumptions or what, but the comment that was left had nothing to do with what the article actually said. I know taking it down was the gracious thing to do, yet I'm so tired of stepping aside when what I have to say is important and affects so many people I care about. Instead of being heard I'm told I'm narrow minded, out of touch, selfish, etc. What I want is to find a balance but they don't hear that. It's like they have this preconceived idea of what I believe and they can't open their ears wide enough to get past it. I'm getting tired of the battle and it's affecting everything I do and how I feel. I'm so smad.

 



As a direct result of my "SMAD", I'm supposed to be practicing at the church right now but I can't bring myself to get dressed and go. I might run into someone while there that I just can't deal with today, and maybe...just maybe they've taken all the joy out of serving right now. Instead of practicing I'm making some cards, surfing Pinterest and Facebook and of course...I'm here which is nice.  I'll practice next week...I'll have to. I sure hope I don't regret my decision tomorrow morning. I'll have the Sunday School hour to prepare for church...hopefully that will be enough.

I'm quite tired even though I didn't do much today. I suppose I should clean up my studio there is paper, tools, embossing folders, my Cuttlebug and my Cricut and rubber stamps...everywhere. Then again...maybe I'll wait until after church tomorrow.

Thank you to those who have contacted me recently. I'm really excited to get to know all of you and so I hope if you read this you'll leave a comment.

I'm Back...Again

It's daunting at first to start composing a blog entry after having been gone for so long. This big white box seems so big...and so white.

Much has taken place in the last few months and as I have said probably every time I come back after being away, I want very much to be more consistent in my blogging. Life just seems to carry me away. Let's see how well I do this time.

Thursdays have become ladies Bible Study day. A few of us got together and just decided we needed a study and so we began. It has been so wonderful for me personally to have a circle of friends to stand beside me and uphold me in prayer when needed. This has been a long time coming.

The new year has brought little to no change in my personal life. I am hoping and praying for change in several areas as the year goes on. Last year I had some of my beliefs questioned...well, actually I was told I'm wrong to believe the way I do. I went back armed with God's Word to no avail. I will not/cannot compromise my stand on this issue and because I will not bend, I am being considered as one causing conflict and dissension. I'm praying somehow for this to be resolved but it's difficult to see how when neither side will compromise their position. It's going to be very difficult to serve on the music committee this year because of this situation. I do have a support system in place now, the ladies from Bible Study and a few other friends and that helps a lot.

So if you come back to visit...and I come back to post, you'll be hearing about church, my projects, my goals, my plans, my piano students, what I'm learning, my new diagnosis, my new business and how I manage it all and try to keep my crown from falling off.

Please say hi if you stop by!

Winter Wonderland

We've had some strange weather this week...warm for this time of year and instead of snow we've had fog with a light mist at times which has resulted in this white coat covering all the trees. If it wasn't so gray it could be quite beautiful.

If the sun ever comes out, what a display that will be! I took the afternoon off today. Maybe it's this dismal weather that has me so lacking in energy but I've practiced almost every day this week and I just couldn't bring myself to go over there again today. I did my grocery shopping this morning and decided I'd stay home and work on a few cards this afternoon as I have no students scheduled, but here it is 3:30 and I haven't even had the energy to begin.

I have however managed to read my daughter's newly printed portfolio from cover to cover. I just got the news, she is graduating on the 20th...MAGNA CUM LAUDE...and yes, I'm just a tad proud!! 

Tomorrow is my piano studio recital. I was asked by one of the parents (a professional singer) to accompany her on the organ while she sang Gesu Bambino. I was honored and worked very hard to adapt the piano music to work on the organ and then learn to play it. After putting in hours of practice I get an email yesterday from her saying that she, like many people in our area has come down with one of the nasty bugs that has been going around and since hers is the sore throat/fever variety, she will not be able to sing on Saturday. UGH! Oh well, I hear my mentor's voice as he's told me before that practice is never for naught. It's ok too, because I really didn't feel comfortable with the piece and if I was going to do it I wanted to do a good job for her. So many of our families have been ill and I've had so many cancellations this week that I really don't know what to expect for tomorrow, but whatever will be will be. 

Sunday morning is our church's Christmas program. I will be playing the prelude and postlude as usual as well as a solo on Still, Still, Still, plus all the congregational hymns...there are quite a few. I think I'm ready...I feel pretty good about those pieces, it's just up to whatever happens in the moment...God help me.

So here I am with an entire evening ahead of me...all to myself. Hot tea, frosty trees, twinkling lights, crackling fire and Christmas music...I think I'm ok with that.  

What a Beautiful Fall We've Had This Summer!

Which makes me wonder just what fall and winter will bring! 

I continue to stay busy, trying to harvest the garden before everything freezes and catch up on all the chores I was supposed to do this summer but instead spent most of my time sitting on an organ bench LOL! I've finally cleaned the basement and the garage. I still need to scrub down the ceilings and walls - between the wood stove and all the mosquitos we squashed this summer, they're gross! 

You may have seen on Facebook that we had an organist meeting last week - we hadn't had one in a quite a while. We headed over to the Heritage Center following dinner and played the pipe organ there. I'm planning on everyone coming over for dinner on the 3rd of October, then heading over to our church to try out our "new" organ...now that it's been here for almost a year LOL! 

It's been an emotionally trying week. Most likely we will be voting PT to be our Pastor in October, but before we do that he wanted to give members a chance to meet with him to discuss any concerns about his vision for the church's future. Hubby and I didn't sign up, but PT asked for a meeting with us. That took place over breakfast at our house, Monday morning at 7:00. He wanted to meet and pray with us regarding his decision to not marry Son and his intended. He also wanted to discuss church music and the fact that people are complaining about the new organ. Just as I thought I finally had everything as it should be, had a successful concert, etc., now I find out I have to go in today and rethink everything I've been doing. I have to try to balance allowing the instrument to do what it is designed to do and still make "everybody happy". It's finding out that though I had thought I was aiding in worship, I have been hindering it. I feel like I've been punched in the face. Praying God will give me wisdom in what changes to make. 

Monday I unloaded on Mentor and he understood completely and let me have my rant, then he consoled me and told me what my next step needs to be. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him! He always knows just what to say to help me keep my focus where it should be. Monday night I felt like a wet dish rag. 

Yesterday I tried to put it out of my mind and I spent the day pulling up garden vegetables and preparing them for the freezer. Also I finished work on my studio website so it is up to date for the coming year and I signed up my 16th student! Last year I prayed for 15 and God gave me 13. This year he has brought me 16. I haven't met them all yet, that will come next week. 

Today I'll spend the afternoon on the organ bench trying to figure out what needs to be changed. I hope I'll be able to practice some as well. Also, a lady from church who has been a "fan" all along has asked to be introduced to the organ as far as finding out what everything does and what I'm doing when I'm up there. I don't think she has a music background at all, so....interesting. She plans to stop by sometime this afternoon. 

Lunch is leftovers and supper is probably stuffed baked potato and maybe some fresh carrots, broccoli and beans from the garden. I'll have to go out in this rain storm to gather them.  

Son called. He wanted my opinion on the suits and ties for himself and the guys and also the sashes to cover the chairs that his intended doesn't like. He told me he signed up the caterer that we talked to last time they were here. I'm glad because it will make things so much easier, but I'm also concerned about the money aspect. They are coming up on Saturday and I'll go with Son's intended for her final dress fitting and will be at their beck and call for anything else they need done. This is most likely the last time I'll see them before the wedding. 

I honestly don't see things settling down until after the wedding - then it will be time to prepare for Christmas! I know once winter settles in and Hubby goes back to hockey, I should have my evenings more to myself...I think...who knows! 

I do miss blogging regularly and hope to be back at it...someday soon. Please don't forget me. ;)

Practice Time

Church was good yesterday, though I was disappointed as were some others that we didn't sing more Christmas hymns. It was my turn to play the offertory and it went well. I experimented with a registration that reminds me of my favorite pipe organ. Hubby said it sounded very nice. Only one other person made a comment, which is fine. I think the newness has worn off and people are finding it sort of normal now, which is a good thing.  Hee, hee, I'm sounding more and more like my mentor everyday. 

Daughter came over after church yesterday and helped a little with some Christmas decorating.  I always put up this little tree on the piano.

We still don't have our big tree up yet, but everything else is done.  It's always a bitter-sweet time for me as most all my decorations  have been handed down by my mother. Most of them were on her tree when she grew up, so they are quite old. This one is a cookie! I even have a picture of her about age 4 in front of a Christmas tree and this ornament can be seen hanging on the tree behind her!

Some, I remember buying or making with her when I was growing up. Either way, she is always on my heart as I bring them out each year to decorate. The little wax choir candles are quite a collectors item, I'm told. Mom left them on the TV one year and they began to melt. ;) I bought the porcelain ones when I got married because they reminded me of my mom's wax set. Now I have both. I always miss her, but especially this time of year.

Scolding myself...do you ever unload your heart on someone, then wished you hadn't? Do you ever open up to someone and then feel as though the most important thing on your mind and heart made no impact at all on the person you shared it with? Have you ever sought advice, sympathy or just a little understanding and felt like you were talking to the walls? Truly, sometimes I think I share too much to the wrong people and I'm the only one who pays the price...disappointment, rejection. Am I the only one who does this repeatedly?? Someday maybe I'll learn. There...that's my rant for the week. 

The big plan for today is practicing. I'll do some cleaning around here this morning and I plan to be at the church from 1:00-4:00 or 4:30. If my mentor isn't too busy, he said he might come up to work with me for a bit. I hope he makes it, we have so much to discuss...I just hope I am able to get the answers I seek and tell him the things that are on my heart.

Saying Goodbye

The last few days have been rough ones and I imagine another few yet to come. Today we say goodbye to our friend, Mae. Mae came into our family for our youngest daughter. Looking back, Mae was way too much dog for such a little girl and for that reason, much of the care fell to Dad. Now that Mae is so crippled up and seems to have cancer, it's time to say goodbye.

The vet is coming by the house today as he goes right past here anyway on his way to an equine appointment. In order to save some money, Hubby decided to bury her in the backyard and after two exhausting attempts to dig a hole and finding nothing but unmovable rock, he gave up...that is until Daughter came home. She came in at the end of my teaching day and broke down in tears as the reality of what was soon to take place finally hit. She went outside to find where her dad had dug only to find nothing. I had to explain her dad's problem and how after two tries he decided "I'M NOT DIGGIN" ANOTHER HOLE". :/ Through tearful sobs Daughter says..."I will dig the hole". Her dad shrugged his shoulders and said "well, we still have a little light left" and the two of them went to the backyard and dug one more hole. They took turns, allowing the other to rest a spell. Mae went outside to be near them and it was completely dark out before they finished. I'm not as close to her as the two of them are, so I will have to be the strong one, yet, seeing my loved ones so sad just makes my heart ache.

In other news, the church voted 29-2 in favor of purchasing the organ!! I'm so excited, but at the same time, nervous about so much. The stress is just now beginning as we have to pay for it, have it shipped, install it, tune it voice it...so much! Hubby has been waking in the middle of the night after having bad dreams about dropping it on it's way into the church, etc.

Ok, well I really wanted to write more, but the morning is getting away from me and I have a lot to do before the vet arrives and the rest of the day goes to you-know-what. I hope to check out all of your epistles some time later today.