Cloud Cover

Yesterday I came home with a heavy heart. On one hand I was relieved that I finally was able to nail down which one of us is playing what music in the recital - at least for the most part, but at the same time I came away with a feeling that his heart is not really in this. I don't know if it's just because he has so much on his mind right now or if he is only doing this out of some sense of obligation. I was looking forward to planning this together, working on the music together and looking forward to it together. I don't know what's going on with him and I don't know if I should say something or not and if I do I don't know how to approach the subject. I'm afraid he'll feel cornered. None of this is turning out how I envisioned. I'm just hoping in the next week or two the chemistry between us returns.

After my practice time I stopped by the scrapbook store to see if my friend who fell down the steps and injured herself so badly was better and back at work only to find out she had to have another surgery, has been fighting infection and is back in the hospital until at least Friday.

Later I got online looking for something to cheer me up only to find out Gordon has also had a slight setback - his white blood cell count is low so he's got some strict orders from the doctor. I was afraid he was doing too much to soon and not allowing his body to heal. Please continue to pray for an all clear from the cancer report.

I went to bed last night with such a heavy heart - a dark cloud seemed to settle in and not go away.

I'm better today, but still struggle with disappointment on several levels. Tomorrow is another practice day - at least I have some direction now. Thursday morning early I have a much needed massage that I hope will begin to turn around some of the physical problems I've been dealing with. 

I think it's time to call it a day and curl up in bed with a favorite movie. 

Sunday

Sunday. Sundays are wonderful but stressful for me. It's a pretty day - bright sunshine and cold temperatures.

Church went well - I managed the music alright and Pastor's message was very good. After church Daughter #2 and her friends came for lunch - the spaghetti sauce was wonderful. The kids brought garlic bread, juice and cookies. SOOOOO GOOOD! They also brought a copy of Frozen for us to watch which was very enjoyable. I've been fighting a post church service headache all afternoon and so I'm glad we're not planning to go back to church this evening. Hubby helped with the dishes and I'm so thankful as I'm just not feeling well.

Tomorrow I hope to practice on the pipe organ and talk to my mentor to nail down more details about our recital. I shouldn't have to cook as we still have leftover stew and lots of spaghetti.

Until next time ~

What I've Been Up To

Forgive me for being so MIA lately. I've been quite overwhelmed with things lately, especially the plans for the recital. I had a near panic attack on Tuesday just because things are still so up in the air. Please pray we can make more detailed plans on Monday. 

There has been lots of cancellations and rescheduling going on in the studio so my schedule has been all of out whack this week. I also had a chiropractor appointment on Thursday. She did an adjustment to my left hip which was pretty intense. I didn't think much of it at the time, but later that evening my body just felt uneasy for lack of a better word and I was so exhausted I fell asleep in the chair while Hubby watched two episodes of NCIS. I'm so ready to feel better. I have an appointment with my massage therapist this Thursday - please pray I can get consistent treatment that will start showing some real results. 

The sun has been out most of today, but we only have a high of 16. It's supposed to warm up to the 20's again next week. 

Today was a busy day. Hubby and I enjoyed breakfast out at our favorite spot then we stopped by the grocery store and picked up what we need to make Hubby's dad's famous spaghetti sauce. It was tradition that only George (Hubby's dad) made the spaghetti sauce, so Hubby is continuing that tradition. It really is the best sauce I have ever tasted. It's been cooking now for several hours - the longer it cooks, the better it is. Spaghetti with the special sauce for lunch tomorrow is a special request of Daughter #2 - it's been years since Hubby made a batch and she was quite little, yet she remembers it. She's bringing several of her friends over, so the house will be full of young men ;). It will be fun. 

After I unloaded the groceries and made sure Hubby didn't need anything else, I went to the church to practice and to meet with a fellow piano teacher/musician. She is accompanying a local choir in an upcoming concert and a few of their pieces require the use of an organ. I was asked to play these pieces for them in the concert since they don't have a trained organist available, but I had to decline because of the recital coming up and all the work I'll be doing preparing for that as well as my studio recital. When I got a look at the music, I knew I made the right decision. Fortunately they did find someone to help out, but Susie, their regular pianist wants to try one of them on her own. Susie is an excellent trained pianist - far exceeds my skills - but is just now starting to explore the organ and she wanted my help in getting started. It was fun to connect with her - normally she's the one helping me, so the role reversal was nice for once. She seems to be genuinely interested in the instrument whereas she wasn't before. She's in her 30's and raising a family, but it's still nice to see another younger person showing interest. She is quite the musician, so I'm sure if she decides to practice faithfully she will be very good. 

I also feel good that I was able to pay some bills, do my online banking, balance the checkbook, organize my photo files on the computer again, catch up on emails and serve up an easy stew for supper. I'm thinking I may try and write a letter to a dear friend tonight. 

Yesterday (Friday) was Johann Sebastian Bach's 329th birthday. I celebrate every year - his music has taught me so much about music in general and helped me learn how to play the organ. I am grateful. That is some music which is said to be written in his own hand that I'm using as my background for this month. 

I am currently obsessed with the music Gabriel's Oboe. I tried it on the organ today - it's going to take more work than I originally thought. I can't get it out of my mind...it just plays over and over and over in my mind. I am conflicted about playing it in church, my training tells me it's best left for a wedding, yet I find myself trying to find a way to use it. I emailed my mentor and he's giving it some thought. He had never heard it before. 

Well I guess that's all from me for now. I hope everyone has a 

wonderful Lord's day tomorrow.

Hodgepodge for 3-19-14

1.  Thursday marks the first day of spring...to celebrate would you rather plant a garden or go for a walk in the woods? Would either of those activities be possible on Thursday where you live?
I would love to go for a walk in the woods ! Planting a garden would be good too but no, neither activity is even remotely possible yet as we have many feet of snow on the ground and more falling as I type. 

2. When did someone last spring something on you? (or when did you last spring something on someone?)
Yesterday. My dear friend and mentor told me he is considering moving to Arizona. I can't imagine my music without him right now.

3.  We often think of spring as a time for new beginnings. What's something you'd like to start doing this spring?
Ride my bicycle a little every day.

4. Where do you like to sit in a movie theatre? When did you last sit there, and what were you watching?
We don't go often at all - I'd rather watch a movie in the comfort of my own home and in my pj's. When we do go we usually sit somewhere in the middle and near an aisle. I honestly don't remember the last time, I think it was for the last Harry Potter movie - I'm not much of a fan so I only went because the rest of my family wanted me to go. 

5. When you meet someone for the very first time, what do you want them to think about you?
It is my hope they would find me exemplifying a "gentle and quiet spirit". 

6. March is frozen food month (yes, really!). Besides ice cream (gotta make you think a little) what's your most often purchased frozen food item?
That's easy - frozen vegetables. 

7. What's something you avoid?
Driving in the winter. I only drive within a certain perimeter of my home. If someone needs me to out of that perimeter, they can come and get me. 

8. Insert your own random thought here.
I've been thinking a lot about my mentor possibly moving away and this thought has come to my mind often today because I may forget some of what he told me, but I won't forget how he makes me feel
:
People will forget what you said
People will forget what you did
But people will never forget how you made them feel. 
~ Maya Angelou

Tuesday Tid-Bits

Today has been a bit mixed up. Last night a parent called wanting to reschedule lessons for today so she could take another one of her children to the dr. this afternoon. That meant rearranging my day, but it worked out fine. Then I had another one call and cancel due to illness, so it's been a bit odd today. 

Our dog Gilmore is losing bladder control - we woke yesterday morning to him coming to get us, but peeing all over our bedroom floor, then he walked down the hall and into the living room all the while peeing away! We of course got him outside and cleaned it up, but when I did the floors it meant running the steam mop. I'm so glad we were able to put wood floors in this house! 

Yesterday I went down the hill to practice on the pipe organ. It is so nice to be able to do that once in a while now. David and I started work on our recital program, but I still don't know what I need to be practicing for certain. I have been very stressed about the whole thing all day today, not to mention he told me he's considering moving himself and his mother to Arizona! He had such a difficult winter this year that he's thinking of moving. I'm just in shock and I don't know what I will do without him involved in my music. 

Friday I tried a new exercise DVD. I think once I get past the initial problems I'm having it will be good, but my arms and shoulders were so tight when I started that I injured my rotator cuff on my left side. I was afraid I did some real serious damage because it hurt so badly, but after doing the ice/heat treatment and going to bed with an Ibuprofen I woke up Sunday morning feeling good enough to play the organ. I'm afraid to try it again until after I get someone to work on me. 

My son is still looking for work - he has a possibility, but he needs to learn a new computer program that his current computer is too old to run and without a job he can't afford to buy a new computer. SIGH. 

Daughter #2 arrived home safely from her backpacking trip and thank God He protected them when they had a close encounter with a big black bear!

Saturday I had the blessing of talking to my oldest and dearest friend on the phone for 3 1/2 hours! We've been friends since the first day of school when we were in the first grade! We don't get to talk often and she doesn't email much, but when we do get together it's like time has stood still...like we've never been apart. It's marvelous and I know how fortunate I am to have this rare kind of friendship. 

More snow is falling - we're due to get another 4-6 inches between now and tomorrow evening and it's possible we could get freezing rain as well. YUCK, YUCK, YUCK. It's only March, but I just can't take any more. 

Lots of things and people on my heart tonight...I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm not sure how I'll spend my evening...I do wish I had someone to just sit down and talk with.

Here are a few cards I made recently. Most of you have probably already seen them on Facebook. I may work on some spring/Easter ideas tonight. 

Remember if you want to have a conversation to click the Notify Me box in the lower right hand corner of the comment area. If we can all remember to do this, it will be more like Multiply. 

Until next time my friends~

Question to you, my Blogger friends

Those of us who are Multiply refugees were lamenting the fact that Blogger wasn't as friendly as far as staying notified when new comments were made on posts. I'm not sure when it showed up, but one day some time ago I noticed a box to check when I leave a comment on someone's post. It's in the lower right hand corner and it says "Notify me". When I remember to click it, I get an email letting me know a new post was made there so I can stay in the conversation. Is anyone else using it? So I posted answers to everyone who commented on my last blog entry - do any of you see those? It's a nice feature when I remember to click the box.

I did Hubby's laundry yesterday so it's my laundry day today. I will also pay bills and make a chicken soup. Hubby has a few crazy busy days - they started yesterday. He's refereeing and playing in a slow-puck tournament all weekend. He'll be in and out and missing some meals here at home, so I'm making the soup so that he'll have something warm and nutritious that can be warmed quickly if and when he blows in. I have one student at 4:00 and otherwise it will be a quiet day. I should go practice and I am beating myself up a bit for considering staying home both today and tomorrow, but I really feel as though my body needs extra attention - I've been doing the work, but I don't think it's enough. I'm planning some extra work-outs and a longer stretch time for the next two days. If I get to church early enough Sunday morning I should have enough time to brush up the music before the start of the service. Next week I can put in some serious practice hours...maybe the sun will even shine through the stained glass!

I find myself putting things off that I find to be difficult - waiting for real spring around here when day to day life isn't quite so challenging.

Until next time~

Playing Catch-Up

These mornings right after the time I change I find it difficult to get out of bed - it's just so easy to continue to sleep and with the continued cold and now dampness to the air I certainly don't want to crawl out from under the covers. Consequently, my days have been starting later and somewhat behind schedule.

The last few days I have been on the run constantly. I believe today things might be getting back to normal somewhat, though again, I'm behind schedule.  The end of last week sort of fell apart...students were rescheduled for one reason or another, I had a couple of other appointments to fit in and I had to help a fellow teacher test one of his students that couldn't make it to the testing on Saturday. Everything that I personally had wanted to do got shoved to the back of the priority list. I do hope today to get to some of them.

Saturday at 7:30 a.m. I was picked up by a fellow piano teacher and we drove to the testing site to begin setting up for the day. Music Teacher's Association Student Achievement Testing began at 9. I was in charge of the theory test. I found it's been way too long since I had to add fractions which is necessary for scoring, but I think I managed and everything else went smoothly - it was just a long day. The other teachers got to sit down together and eat lunch, as it happened I wound up eating alone in my room while continuing to give the test. That afternoon we were blessed with the opportunity to sit in on a master class given by our guest performance judge Giuseppe Lupis. You can get to know him a little, here.

I was thankful that one of my students chose to take part in the masterclass, but at the same time it was a bit nerve wracking as a teacher to hear someone else critique my student. Giuseppe was very pleased with him though and had several compliments, then taught both of us something about legato and dynamics that I did not know. I learned from his teaching of some of the other students as well and wish I had the opportunity to take lessons from him. My student's testing sheet was returned with high praise and high marks. Giuseppe was born and raised in Italy and though I had to strain from time to time to understand him clearly, his accent was such a pleasure to listen to. All of us teachers took him out to dinner that night and had a wonderful time getting to know him. I truly hope this is not the last time that we see Giuseppe. 

Sunday of course was church. Hubby had volunteered to help with a local ski race that was held that morning, so I went to church alone. After church I came home and did some house cleaning and cooking to prepare for company on Monday. My house is in real need of some major spring cleaning and I am beginning to get that urge but it's not strong enough yet to force me to get started. I did what needed to be done, and it was fine. 

Monday I was so relieved to get my hair cut - amazing what a difference that makes. The weather was gorgeous with highs in the 40's so I drove down the hill and practiced on the pipe organ...such a treat. It's out of tune now with the temperature changes and the moisture, but it didn't matter to me. Later my mentor came over for supper and he asked if I felt at home at the instrument since I hadn't been there in so many weeks and I told him "like I had never been away." I had made enchiladas and apple crisp for dessert - it was good and the company even better. The plan was to discuss our upcoming recital plans, and we did, but not to the extent I had hoped. It's ok, it will all work out...I just have a tendency to have to have everything laid out and predicted ahead of time. 

Yesterday and today still I find myself in the need of some down time. I just need some time to myself to reorganize and recharge but I have to keep to my schedule and just keep on going.  Today will be another practice day - with Easter and the recital coming up, not to mention the need to prepare for each Sunday, I really can't skip any practice days. 

Daughter #2 is on as backpacking trip in Tennessee for spring break. She was exhausted from work and classes and sports activities before she left so I hope she's doing alright and doesn't come home exhausted and sick as she heads back to classes. Certainly no moss gathers under her feet! Oh to be young again! 

My son still has not been put back on at work so he's starting to look for something else. I hope he finds something soon, but who knows where that will take him. 

The latest from Gordon my friend/teacher fighting cancer: 

Hi Everyone

Just got back from the doctor's office. Blood counts are up so I got my chemo infusion #7. Everything went well. 

Then went to the infectious disease doctor. You may recall that I got an infection in my right foot that moved up into my calf. After trying 3 different antibiotics, I was admitted to the hospital and put on my meds intravenously. After a week (7 very long days - had to go home just to  feel better) I was released and given the remainder of this last antibiotic to take orally. That doctor saw me today and was so pleased
that she cancelled the next MRI and sent me home. Yay !! I'm to finish this last antibiotic and see her again in 2 weeks. 

Praise God !

It's good news, but prayers continue. 

Well that about wraps up my update. I need to get back to the routine around here. 

Until next time ~

So Tired

I cleaned house this morning and spent 30 minutes on the treadmill and another 20 doing my stretches, then I taught four piano lessons this afternoon and I'm tellin'ya...I did just fine until I closed the door after the last one left and I realized just how exhausted I am....then the dogs want to go for their walk....whew.

I'm done...done in. It's 5:30 p.m. and I'm ready for my jammies and my favorite chair and TV show. Hubby is coming down with a cold and has had equipment break-downs today so I imagine he will not be very happy when he does come home. He also has hockey later and I should start my Easter cards while he's gone, but I don't know if I can. I want to make some Iris Folding cards - something like this:

I got a call from a dear friend while I was teaching that I couldn't take. Actually she was my mother's best friend. It's so interesting because she has been on my mind a lot lately and I really wanted to hear what she had to say. I may give her a call tonight. I've also had my mom on my mind a lot lately...more than usual, so hearing from Donna is just so well timed.

This is a picture of Pike's Peak that popped up on my Facebook page today - again with the timing. This is where my mother grew up and the peak keeps watch over where she was laid to rest. My heart aches to go back there and see her grave site...I never have had that closure. I also still have family there and would love to see them all. Oh Momma...how I miss you.

A hot bath is sounding really good right now.

Hope

I still have a dark cloud that hangs threateningly over my head. but some small glimmers of hope as well.

I see the glimmer of hope in the coming of spring. Even though the days are oh so cold with temperatures still hanging around the below 0 mark most of the time, the days are noticeably longer and the sun has been a more frequent visitor and for that I am grateful because though I can't feel spring in the air, I can see it...it's on it's way.

The other glimmer of hope is a tiny improvement in my physical well being. After a visit with my massage therapist this past week, we determined the reason I have been in so much pain and so tender to the touch and why I can't seem to make a difference in my body when I stretch or have work done on the muscle tissues is because my fascia is so tight. She did a myo fascia release on my lower body and it was amazing. I felt the changes happening right there on the table. The next day I had no hip pain, I slept without tossing and turning and there was no pain in my hip or knee when I walked or climbed the stairs! The calves of my legs were even less tight to my touch and even seemed smaller to me - like all that tightness had made them swell. My therapist said that could very well be the case as fascia can retain fluid and when it's released the fluid is released along with other toxins and eliminated. That's the good news. The bad news is it's not a one and done kind of thing, it's a long road to healing and lots of work on my part. The other bad news is my therapist will be out of town for three weeks and so staying on top of this situation will be difficult at best, not to mention when she returns it will be expensive, but without it I truly don't believe I'll be walking or playing the organ much longer. That's the dark cloud, that and if I don't work on this everyday I slip immediately back to the painful tightness that has become a nasty new "normal" for me. I missed doing my exercises on both Saturday and Sunday and this morning I could tell I was slipping back to those painful patterns. It didn't take long at all. I've been through this before and each time I learn more about how to take care of myself and hopefully this time I will make time enough to stay on top of the situation.

So today, whether for better or for worse I chose to make a "spa day". Now most of you are thinking that sounds great, but bear in mind, I'm not talking body wraps, facials and steam baths, I'm talking about an afternoon of stretches and exercises and most of them will be painful.  It also means I had to neglect my practice time on the organ because there just isn't time for both. I went back and forth making this decision...I hate that I had to give up one for the other, but the situation is what it is because many times in the past...too many to count...I have not listened to my body and given it what it needed, rather I kept to my schedule and did what I either wanted to do or needed to do and my body has suffered for it. I'm hoping by doing this today and maybe again later in the week, a shorter period of stretches and exercise on the other days will suffice.

Also today I began being very strict with my diet - how many times have I said that - but this time I'm down to the wire on time. I have a new top I purchased to wear for my organ recital that will hopefully be scheduled for either May 1st or May 8h. I can wear the top now, but it doesn't look as good as I want it to...especially considering I'll be up in front of people. I have 8 weeks...8 weeks to make a substantial difference in how I look and feel.

Please pray I can do this.