Jesus Loves Me

Post Easter and I'm playing catch-up. The house was a disaster...every towel was dirty and I had several loads of sheets to wash. I haven't seen Facebook much in several days and I missed this weeks Hodgepodge.

I don't know about you but Holidays make life busy and stressful. As a church musician there is always more to do, practice and plan during the holiday seasons (although somewhat less for me now than in years past...more on that in another post to come), not to mention the stress of playing for a larger crowd and for those that have higher than usual expectations.
As a wife, mother and grandmother holidays revolve around family and food which once again means I am called upon to do more than usual. There may be stressful situations with family members as well which only adds to the overall stress of the day. Questions always are flashing in my mind, should I speak up, should I let it go, what's going to happen next, is this situation going to escalate? Then there's that one person that just seems to get under everyone's skin...like and itch you can't scratch. UGH! Don't get me wrong, I love holidays, I love being with my family even with all their quirkiness and brokenness but when I wave goodbye and watch the last ones drive away I experience emotions that throw me for a loop. I'm sad to see them go, I miss them while I can still see their car driving away...especially my precious granddaughter, but at the same time I'm grateful for some time to be quiet, calm my heart and spirit and finally have the chance to reflect on the meaning of the holiday that is now completely past and gone. 

Jesus Christ, God's Son, Savior, Lord. That's a lot to reflect on right there. 

I have to admit most Christmases and Easters find me not taking the time to reflect until the day is over and family is gone. This Easter I'm happy to tell you was amazingly a little different.

My precious granddaughter has always had a difficult time sleeping. I'm not sure what it is or why, but she just fights sleep...I know some babies can be like that for whatever reason. It wears on my son and daughter-in-law and of course being away from home can further complicate matters. It's my observance that the more they seem to stress about it the more of a struggle it becomes. Tempers flare between them and with other family members who are constantly shushed and told to turn down the TV, stop talking and laughing, etc. I learned to be a good mother-in-law/grandmother by watching my own mother. She was the best...yes, even my husband would attest to that. ;) Her way of navigating those waters was to only offer opinions or help when asked, so I've decided to adopt the same system. The second night here both my son and his wife had just about enough. They hadn't slept well the night before, the day was long, my granddaughter had kept us all busy keeping her out of trouble and they were on edge...just needed a rest themselves.

Finally they came to me and asked if I would try putting her to sleep...maybe I could think of something they hadn't tried. It's been 25 years since I've put a baby to sleep and I was a little afraid of not being successful but I gladly took that little angel in my arms and gave it my best shot. My studio was the only available space for her to sleep so I leaned back in my office chair and put my feet up on the piano bench and took a deep cleansing breath. As soon as I got comfortable she began to calm down while I patted her back and spoke to her softly. I never knew my heart could swell with so much love again! I haven't felt that way since I had my own sweet babies in my arms. I suddenly became aware of how blessed I am. More out of instinct that anything else I began to softly sing Jesus Loves Me and before I knew what happened the tears began to roll down my cheeks.

I was suddenly so aware of Easter and all it means. Jesus loves me...so simple yet so profound. 

I can't remember the last time I sang that song...probably 25 years ago. Jesus loves me...me...ME! Jesus loves me so much He came to earth as a baby, was born in a humble stable, lived a humble life teaching of God's love. Jesus loves me so much he suffered, bled and died on a cross then rose again to prove death has no sting...for Him or for me. Jesus loves me and is preparing a place for me with Him for eternity! Jesus loves me! It's in those quiet moments...even when we're not necessarily thinking spiritual thoughts or planning to say a prayer...just those quiet moments when we can finally be still and quiet that He puts His arms around us and reminds us of His love for us. He loves me just like I love that baby girl in my arms. Oh how precious that moment was for me. How blessed I was to be able to hold her, calm her, sing to her...love her.

She finally squirmed a little and I readjusted her so she wouldn't fall, then she squirmed again like she wanted down, but she was sleeping. I decided that must be her signal that she wanted her bed so I put her in the pack 'n play. She immediately found her comfort position and I patted her back for a few more minutes before leaving the room. I felt so blessed, so proud...so happy that I hadn't lost my touch and grateful that I was successful in the mission I was given. Because of those few precious moments of quiet with my baby girl the Lord reminded me in such a special way of His love for me...for her...for all of us on Easter...an Easter I hope I will never forget.

                                                        Thank you, Jesus. 

I was going to end this entry right here but this morning I found out my Aunt had a stroke and passed away on Easter. My Aunt Mary was my mother's brother's wife. She was born in 1930 on April 1st. She and my Uncle Ed were married when she was just 15!! They had four children together. I wasn't all that close to her really but for some reason it has been a difficult day. She was family and I no longer see my extended family anymore and though I have tried, only two of my cousins will make an effort to stay in touch with me. It's sad and I'm just missing family and the family connection today. 

I hope you all had a blessed Easter and have had your time of reflection on the love Jesus has for you.