Friday, October 11, 2013

A Bit Sad

Tonight I'm sad. It's odd, I wouldn't think I would be...but. I got a text tonight from my brother's wife...wow...I just realized how complicated this is going to be to explain. OK...28 or so years ago my brother married his first wife, she was pregnant at the time with what we thought was my brother's child. They did fine for a while, I rolled up my sleeves and bought rummage sale clothes for them - they had nothing. I was there when the baby was born, took care of him several times...became attached. She started sleeping around and all of a sudden claimed the baby (who had features from our side of the family) wasn't my brother's afterall, they fought, nasty divorce and blood tests to prove paternity came back negative...he wasn't ours after all. Yet my mother and I always felt something wasn't quite right...results can be falsified...I don't know, I have no proof, only a feeling. I always kept him in my heart as my nephew even though I never saw him again and my brother only had contact with him on a couple of occasions. He told me once that Allan wanted to keep my brother's name, that he felt he was he father. I can see that his name was changed at some point either by him or his mother. My mother was heart broken. The photo is of him with my parents.

So tonight my brother's current wife (his third) sends me a text that Allan was killed in a car accident. He was only 28...my mind wanders... I wonder what he was like, who he came to be. My brother is currently in jail, I imagine when he hears he will take it hard - something he doesn't need right now. My thoughts turn to my mom and how much she loved him. The "what-if's" keep coming to mind...He was so young. Here is his obituary, reading it I found out a lot I didn't know:
Allan Paul Smith, 28 of Williamsburg passed away October 6, 2013 at Florence, Colorado. His happiest childhood memories were in Eureka, Montana, he moved to Florence where he attended Florence High School. After high school he, along with his sisters joined the Military and served a year-long tour in Iraq. He was so very proud of his military service and the opportunity to serve his country and defend our freedoms. He married Jackie Garcia, the love of his life in 2005 and to their union was born his daughter Baylee. He loved fishing, working on cars and mud-bogging, but most of all he loved his family. He is survived by his wife Jackie; daughter; Baylee, mother; Lorie, father; William, step-father; Randy, sisters; April, Alicia, Nicole and Madisyn, grandparents; Howard and Pauline, great grandmother; Tonya Brady, uncle; Marvin, mother and father -in-law; Boone and Darla, brother-in-law; Ben and sister-in-law; Monica. He was preceded by his grandmother; Bobbie McChesney. Visitation will be held Friday, October 11, 2013 from 6-8pm, at the Harwood Funeral Home, 225 E. Main, Florence. Funeral Services will be held Saturday, October 12, 2013 at 10am at the First Southern Baptist Church, 303 E. 3rd Street Florence, Colorado. Interment will follow at Mountain Vale Cemetery, 1700 Chestnut, Canon City, Colorado. In lieu of flowers donations may be made to Jackie Smith in care of The Baptist Church of Florence. Arrangements entrusted to Harwood Funeral Services. Online condolences harwoodfunerals.com.



Allan was a cool guy. He was quiet but he was really funny too. Allan was proud of his little girl and proud to be a soldier. He loved bowling and was really good at it.
October 11, 2013
Allan will be greatly missed!
October 10, 2013
Jackie and Family, on behave of the Patriot Guard Riders of Southern Colorado, it is our honor to Stand and Honor your loved one. We are so sorry for your lost, you and your family are in our prayers. God Bless.
~
Daniel C. Asst State Captain,
Colorado Springs, Colorado
October 10, 2013
Allan's family-Lori, Steve, Pat, Alicia, April, Nichole, Jackie, Baylee, Will, Katherine, Garrett, Russell, Maya, Lily, Madisyn, Jeanie, Jamie, Marvin, Erika, Sheldon, Danica, Darla and all other family,
Some of you we know and some we don't. We're so sorry for your loss. Allan grew into quite a fine young man. Your family will be in our prayers. We pray that The Lord brings your family comfort during this time. God Bless.
Colorado
October 10, 2013
I am very sad to hear about allen he was a close friend. jackie and allen took my daughters and I in when we were in need and that's just how great of a person allen always was I will greatly miss him he was truely a gift from God and I enjoyed the years we worked together he left an impression on my heart that will stick with me forever

I wasn't going to try and go to the ATC trade tomorrow because I wasn't ready, but I spent the afternoon literally throwing together a dozen cards. I think I'm going to make one in Allan's honor. My desk is a mess...I should be working on Christmas cards. 
The tears come and go...I'm not sure why.  Rest in peace Allan.



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3 comments:

  1. UnknownOctober 12, 2013 at 7:35 AM

    That is sad and I am so sorry that you never got to know him as an adult, but it does sound like he turned out to be a fine person.

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  2. UnknownOctober 12, 2013 at 11:57 AM

    So sorry, Julie. That is sad. It sounds like he was a good man.
    This brought back memories of what my sister and her son went through. She adored the baby she thought was her grand-daughter, only to have her taken away from them when the truth came out. I hope your brother will be ok.
    You have a good day.

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  3. Terri DOctober 12, 2013 at 3:31 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss, Julie. Love lines are often time stronger than blood lines. Our hearts tell the tale. Allan seems to have had a good life, though now too short. He loved and was loved. I'm sure a DNA test could still be done, though it really wouldn't change the fact that he is gone. I will offer prayers, and hope your brother will be okay. Let us know how you do at the sale. Your cards are beautiful.

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