Distractions

Thank you all for your kind words and comments on my tribute to Gordon page - it really meant a lot. 

I was so thrilled to find out at almost the last minute that Gordon's memorial service was made available via live stream. I had to do some student juggling, but I knew I had to "be there". It was a beautiful service. I found out later that there were 600 people in attendance in the building and 160 of us watching online!! Am I amazed? Yes and no. 

The prelude music was provided by the man himself via recording and couldn't have been more appropriate. It was strange in a way...watching a memorial service of someone I cared so much for on my TV screen. It almost didn't seem real. During the prelude they were showing a slide show, pictures of him. I couldn't see them very well and some of them not at all because of the camera angle, but I did see one of my very own pictures of him show up on the screen! It was this one I took of him on choir tour one year.

I'm sure they just grabbed whatever pictures they could find, but I felt honored when I saw it there. It was a connection...a confirmation that I was indeed part of his life. I remember taking that photo...who would have imagined then where it would end up. 

The very first thing was the entrance of a 60 voice choir that sang his choral arrangement of It Is Well With My Soul. We sang it in college, so I know it well and I knew from the very first notes played on the piano that it was Gordon's arrangement. Those who spoke talked of his love for God that was made manifest in everything he did, of the joy in his music...an outward expression of the inward man. So true! His son told how his dad had taught him to participate in music even when "just listening", made him ask questions regarding the emotions in the music, the colors, harmonies etc. He said that his dad found God in music and taught him that creating art was an act of worship. I know this is all true; he taught the same things to me. 

Two things that stood out to me that the other speakers mentioned. One, that Gordon's "default system" was praise to the Lord. No matter what was going on, even in the midst of cancer treatment and pain, he was still praising God. Two, that Gordon gave us a picture of God every time he sang or played an instrument. That was the point of Gordon's music...his life...to praise, honor and glorify God and it was evident in everything he did.

It's been a difficult couple of weeks and my entire system is paying for it. Gordon's passing has left me pondering things in my own life...he's still teaching me. 

I feel as though I've gotten off track...I've been distracted by too many "irons in the fire". I have so much going on and I'm going in so many directions that I've lost time for my true callings. I won't go into a lot of detail...just know that there are some changes coming. I know I've been called to glorify God in my music and reviewing Gordon's life has given me a renewed passion for practicing, studying and teaching; for putting into practice everything he taught me and for learning what I never quite grasped. I want to be the best musician I can be but it's going to take a lot of time and effort. 

I've been reminded of successful athletes...they eat, sleep walk, talk, breathe their sport. That's what it takes. I know I'm going to have to let some activities go and I'm finding that difficult, but I'm not getting any younger and time is marching on it seems faster and faster every day. So..I will be making a list of both my responsibilities and my callings and putting away the things in my life that don't produce advancement in those areas. I believe God has a place for me...I may not be saving souls on the mission field, feeding the hungry or giving my life savings to the poor, but I am called to be diligent in the place where God has set me. Lately I've been more distracted than diligent, but with God's guiding hand, it is my hope to put away those distractions. 

I hope you'll all stay with me on my journey.