Glorious Fall Day

 It was a glorious fall day today - almost more like summer than fall except for the colors of the trees. All my students cancelled and I almost went into town but I just couldn't justify the expense of gas, lunch out and shopping so I stayed in my studio and caught up on some correspondence and card making for family and friends. I made a get well card for Gordon, a

a card for my mother-in-law,

and one for my cousin. I just love the pumpkin stamp and my new watercolor pencils! 

They went together fairly quickly; writing the letters took most of the time. I still have one letter to compose and I hope to finish that this evening. Tomorrow I must work on my rubber stamp organization so that over the weekend I can make some cards to sell. Two days of consistent effort should get me enough to get my store open. 

This Saturday is the October ATC trade, I haven't even begun to make mine, I'm not sure I'm going to get it done this month, I have too many other things going. 

Daughter #2 stayed the night with us last night, then came back home today after she finished work and is now baking cookies while she listens to one of her books for class. It's good to have her home and though she thinks she'll head home tonight, I hope she'll stay over rather than head back in the dark while she's tired and her car isn't functioning at it's best. 

Tomorrow looks to be our last nice day for awhile. It won't be as warm as today, so I really feel as though I should go for one last walk around the lake...I probably should have gone today. 

We saw a beautiful display of the Northern Lights last night. I'll be checking the sky again tonight. 

Just Monday

Plans for today include general cleaning and straightening of the house and then down the hill for my practice time on the pipe organ and one student this evening. I'll chat with David about a few things that are on my heart regarding the new organ. I was told last night I need to decide whether I want my back to the congregation as it is now or if I want to face the pulpit with my side to the congregation as it was several years ago. Honestly, I don't know. If my back is to them I feel a little like a child when they cover their eyes thinking you can't see them, which gives me a measure of comfort and invisibility, but if I ever get the opportunity to play a wedding there, it might be helpful to look up and see who is entering the church etc.

I stole the above graphic from Linda - my heart is still very heavy for my friend and teacher, Dr. Gordon Page. He met the oncologist, Dr. Lynch, and we've been asked to pray for her and for all the Drs. and nurses that will tend Gordon. He will have a chemo orientation on Wednesday of this week and Thursday they put in a port for the chemo. They are hoping chemo will start sometime in the next couple of weeks. He is already in a lot of pain and can only be in one position for about 5 minutes or so.

Other things that remain on my heart are my kids - Daughter's health, son's relationships, Daughter #2's anxiety, the organs arrival and installation, Finances and Hubby's stresses.

The young man that we gave the old organ to has strong desires to be a serious organ student. It's so exciting to see him positively giddy about learning the organ. Last night one of our orchestra members handed him an extra copy of the ring bound hymnals for him to take home and use for practice. His face lit up like it was Christmas morning! What I find particularly interesting and exciting is that when all this first began about possibly purchasing an organ, our new pastor was concerned that I am too old to be playing it much longer and that they would be wasting money because no one is going to want to use it once I am done. I tried to explain to him that if we had an organ of quality perhaps God would send someone else along who is interested, someone perhaps I could teach to follow after me. He scoffed. It's so wonderful to see this young man step in and whether or not he stays around once he's finished with school, it still speaks to the fact that there are young people out there that want this, that it's not as dead as Pastor wanted everyone to believe. It's as if God is giving us confirmation that the new organ and the timing of everything has been in His will all along.

It looks like we will see the sun a good bit today and that is also a blessing!

No Conception

The organ was removed from our church on Friday and I found myself not quite knowing how to act in church without my usual routine. I tried to listen - to the singing, to the music as a whole without the use of an organ and to the people. 

Many people at church are excited for the new organ and while that's good, I'm finding as I filter comments that they have no conception as to what I will have to go through before I'm prepared to play it publically. I knew this would be the case but I wasn't prepared for the degree. I wasn't prepared for the stress of their anticipation. 

My mentor and I have been somewhat planning a dedicatory service/recital/hymn sing that would be a time of praise to God for His provision of the organ and a chance to worship

and get to know what the new instrument can do. I've been thinking about the hymns I'd like to have sung, about the solos we would play etc and getting a little excited - after all, I've been anticipating this day for 22 years! So today during church we sang A Mighty Fortress - good hymn...no problem. After we finished singing, Pastor steps to the pulpit and says "Julie, you need to practice that hymn because when we get the new organ in, I want to rock out to that hymn, it's one of my favorites". I smile...his choice of words annoys me a bit, but ok. Then he says "I'm planning a worship and praise service for the Sunday morning before Thanksgiving, hopefully we'll have the organ installed and ready to go by then and we'll have a time of praise and thank God for all He has done". WHAT??? This is the first I have heard of it!! The organ could be 2-3 weeks before delivery, then it has to be installed, voiced, registrations set up etc. and THEN I have to spend HOURS getting to know it, how to use it, where things are, much less registering each and every piece I want to play. Sorry folks...you just don't move it in, plug in it and BOOM...DONE! How can all this possibly be prepared by Thanksgiving? My Mentor and I were thinking MAYBE by mid December if all goes well and I wanted him to be able to join us and he has responsibilities on Sunday mornings. While I appreciate Pastors excitement and what he is trying to do, I don't know how to make him see that I have hours and hours of work ahead of me before this can happen and I still have a teaching job and a household to run. I am also disappointed that he is planning all this and not even consulting me all the while I have in my own mind how I wanted it to be, what would be sung, what Scriptures would be read, etc. I feel as though

someone just popped my balloon!! I feel as though I have no say as to anything that goes on in that church musically. I majored in church music in Bible college and I don't get to use my education, I'm just told do this, play that and play it this way. While I am beyond grateful for the new organ, who wants a new toy only if you have to play with it the way someone else tells you. And...maybe I am being childish? 

I do know this, I have a long list of things I need to do and yet all I can think about is what he said...it keeps ringing in my ears like an annoying song and everytime it plays out again, I feel my heart rate quicken and I can't breathe. I'm so upset and so annoyed and I don't want to dwell on it because I'm afraid it will cause me to snap at the wrong person at the wrong time. I'm not sure how I'm going to deal with this when the time comes, but there are a few people in that church that need an education. It just seems to me whenever I open my mouth to try to enlighten in love, I'm brushed aside like I'm the one without a clue. 

Well, there it is...my rant for this afternoon. If you have read this far, I thank you for listening, now back to your regularly scheduled programming...

Very Fall Saturday

For those of you who might be wondering, no, I did not get everything accomplished on my to do list of yesterday. I did manage to get quite a lot done though and went to bed knowing I had done my best and took care of the most pressing.

I got my chores done and my errands run and after supper I went out to the garden and pulled up everything except the tomatoes which still have not ripened and the rutabaga. I do need to go out and pull up one rutabaga this morning for my stew I'm making for tomorrow. I did pull up the remainder of the carrots and beets and brought in what greens I could salvage - they're not good enough for a salad, but I will juice them just to use them up. I even found some wild Johnny Jump-ups in my garden among the tomatoes and decided to pick a few and press them for my scrapbooks. I hope to go out next week and dig them up and transplant them to my front bed and say a prayer that they will come up next spring. Whenever I see a Pansy or a Johnny Jump Up I think of my mother who loved them. When we moved in here just after her death, they were popping up every day all over the lawn - now in the garden. Somehow I think it's her way of letting me know she's smiling down at us and approves of our endeavors. That's what I'm going with anyway.

Last nights supper of hamburger patties, home fries and steamed garden beets and carrots was amazing!! Beets and carrots together make a wonderful fall vegetable choice and so pretty to serve out. I just love that color of purple in the fall and that combined with the orange of the carrot was just as pleasing to look at as it was to eat. I took a picture, but it didn't turn out.

My projects continue today - I hope to get to my letter writing and my computer files...I can't find anything in there! Before all that though, I'm planning a trip to the scrapbook store - they're having a "make and take day". We go in at our convenience, sit at the table and make cards from kits they have created. Each card we make costs only $1.00 and the proceeds go to the local animal shelter. It will be nice on a gray day with Hubby gone teaching an all day hockey seminar, to get out and visit with the ladies and hopefully come home with some new card ideas.

Well, it's time to get my cleaning done so I can head over to the store.

Finally Friday

I have a lot on my mind this morning so I'm hoping to lay out my plans for the day to organize my thoughts. 

*General cleaning and household chores

*Get in some exercise

*Get out to the garden to bring in some more veggies to chop and freeze

*Work on my rubber stamp project - I'm taking my rubber stamps off of the blocks and putting them in an album for better storage

*Write some letters

*Practice

*2 lessons to teach this afternoon 

*Run to the bank then over to the church to put my recitals on the calendar

*Hamburgers, home fries, steamed, buttered fresh garden beets and carrots for supper

Some things on my heart:

*My daughter, is sick and seeing 3 specialists -pray for healing

*Dr. Gordon Page - please pray: drgordonpage.tumblr.com

*Finances

*Many of my students are now going to every other week either because of 

financial strain or busy schedules - please pray for more new students to take up the slack the others are leaving behind. My rates are right in with the other teachers in the area, even less in some cases and I have not raised them in 5 years. 

*My son is dating a new girl - pray for wisdom

*The arrival and installation of the new organ -pray for safety, timing and ease

*Obama Care - praying for God's intervention 

Blessings:

*Garden Produce

*Enough for today

Josh Groban - For Always

A Light Glows on October 3

It's a gray, cloudy day today and it rained quite a bit this morning - very fall like. I'm lighting a candle today in honor of my mother; today would have been her 86th birthday. I usually try to do something special on this day, but with a lesson right in the middle of the day, it's a bit difficult to very much. Perry Como is singing in the background...he was her favorite. I miss her terribly. 

Today I'm trying to catch up on correspondence, blogs, emails and letters as well as sort through some computer files. If time, I'll work on some cards. 

I'm enjoying the cooler temperatures, but not the lack of sunshine. I'm not quite ready to "hunker down" just yet, so I'm hoping for more sunny days ahead. I still have a few chores I need to do before the weather turns bad. We made a total of 22 1/2 quarts of applesauce and after giving away 2 boxes of apples, we still have  a box full to deal with. I decided to juice some and put that in the freezer as well. 

I'm enjoying my students; each one is a joy. I could still use a few more to fill the days, but in the meantime I plan to use the time to get myself organized around here. I'm still trying to get my Etsy store up and running and make more cards to put up for sale. I hope this weekend I can get several made and get pictures taken of them for the website. 

The new organ has yet to be picked up, but they are predicting we should have it sometime in the next couple of weeks, then the work really begins. I have been spending more time at the piano recently which is a good thing. I have been trying to work up a piece of Christmas music my college professor arranged. It's quite challenging and my brain just refuses to wrap itself around some of the patterns and surprises it holds. Still I soldier on...I would really love to play it this Christmas in his honor. Please continue to play for Dr. Gordon Page, he has his consultation today. http://drgordonpage.tumblr.com/ One of the things on my to-do list is to make him a card and send him a real letter. 

Hubby continues to worry me. He is restless in his sleep...when he sleeps - I know he has so much pressing on his mind that he refuses to discuss and I don't know how to help. We continue to pinch our pennies and to no avail. Now with the healthcare requirements...UGH! We can't afford insurance, nor can we afford the penalty. How they figure it's affordable for everyone is beyond me!! Our country is in such a mess and between that and the other discouragements and sadness in my life I struggle to stay positive but I keep going back to Psalm 46:1 "God is our refuge and strength; a very present help in trouble." 

For some reason I keep thinking today is Friday...wishful thinking? 

Winter Preparations

We've spent the day - a beautiful day I might add, doing odd jobs around the house getting ready for winter.

We made another 6 quarts of applesauce first thing this morning and I made two loaves of banana bread and a pot of

vegetable soup then went to the garden and brought in some produce to cut up and freeze while Hubby "made wood" as they say up here from the dead wood in the field across the street and mowed the lawns on both our properties and the adjoining properties.

He's on a bike ride now and I'm supposed to be making cards, but thought I'd stop in here first. 

Honest, I will try and catch up on reading your blogs soon, I've just been a bit busy. 

Broken Hearted

I've been MIA; it seems like for a long time...all of a sudden life got so busy as we prepare for the coming winter. Catching up on me, then I hope to catch up on you all tomorrow. 

We went out one evening and picked wild apples...probably too many and have been trying to get them turned into applesauce. I also made an apple crisp...SO YUMMY! We made our first batch of applesauce this week - it's such a big job.  We only did one batch so far - about 6 quarts I think it was and that was only half of one of four boxes! The next morning we ate French Toast made with homemade bread covered in homemade applesauce made with wild apples...no sugar added or needed! YUM!! Hubby is working on it again tonight and we have to keep this going nearly every night until it's done as the apples are already beginning to bruise. Hubby has also been "making wood" from some dead trees in the field across the street. We are supposed to get a delivery as well, but haven't seen the guy yet. I took some money out of savings and went into town to Walmart and the Co-op for pantry staples - laying things in for the winter. It won't be long now and I won't be able to make that trip. 

I went to a Stampin' Up party Saturday evening, I had hoped to do some networking for piano lessons, but just had a good time. Should our scrapbook store close, I will need to make this a source of supplies. 

Also Saturday night while I was away the neighbor girls came over asking for a safe-haven. All the kids in that family are adopted and one of the boys rages. The parents had a school meeting to attend and the kids (all junior high and above) were home alone. Isaiah got into a rage and the girls came here to stay until things calmed down. Hubby said one of the girls looked as though she had been hit in the face, they didn't seem to want to talk about it, so he didn't press them for information. One of the girls is my piano student and I told both her and her parents if they ever needed anything that we were here for them. It was nice to see they felt they could take us up on that offer when it became necessary. 

All conversations at church Sunday turned to the arrival of the organ and the placement of the speakers and how it's all going to get accomplished. 

Our pastor wants to institute small groups at our church and there are many that are against it. I can understand some of their concerns such as the demands of being hostess, an empty church for visitors because everyone is in homes, lack of qualified leadership, tendency to become cliques, etc. I also see it could be a positive, so I guess I'm on the fence on this one and will follow along and see where it leads.

Gilmore, our other big dog must have gotten into something that made him sick - he wouldn't eat or drink and would have episodes of rather violent shakes. We thought we were going to lose him, but last he is now back to his normal self. 

I found out via Facebook that a dear, dear friend of mine has been diagnosed with cancer. My heart is breaking. He was my piano professor in college - a very talented, loving, caring, very patient man. He taught me SO MUCH! Yes, that's him and me in his office at WBC. He's listening to me intently and preparing to share his wisdom and encouragement. 

He played the piano and the organ at our wedding and he was also the pianist for our college choir and so went with us on our tours every spring. He was so much fun to be around! He makes his living as church organist, choir director, teacher and piano tuner. He also now enjoys skating as well from the looks of Facebook, he's still involved in the lives of young people!  I couldn't even get the words out to tell Hubby, I had to give him the computer to read it for himself. He said on Facebook that it started in his lungs and is in

multiple places already, yet, he sounds positive and is planning a party for when he is declared cancer free. His wife is wonderful as well and they have always been so much in love. I remember seeing the way she would look at him - precious. He has been constantly in my thoughts and on my heart this week.  My mom loved him! He'd start playing piano and I swear she would literally swoon LOL. We used to take her to the Missions and Founder's Day Banquets the college put on each year because Gordon would play the dinner music. She got the chance to get all dressed up and sit and listen to him play all evening - she loved it. I am so blessed to have his influence in my life. I can't tell you what an impact he had on me and continues to this day! Maybe I'm being selfish, but it's just too early for this talented, loving, giving, caring man to leave this earth. Please, please pray for Gordon Page, his wife, Sharon and their son, Evan. Thank you. 

I LOVE THIS MAN!!

Saying Goodbye Part Two

Daughter #2 spent some time out on the grass in the sunshine for the last time with her dear friend. The veterinarian arrived shortly after lunch as promised. Hubby carried Mae out to the backyard - except for what we had to go through, it was a beautiful day. Daughter couldn't stop crying, I hated to see her in so much pain and grief. I wanted to do something to change the situation, to go back in time, something. The necessary shots were administered and we waited but it didn't take long. Our veterinarian is a very compassionate man - he shook Hubby's hand then gave him the man hug, then hugged Daughter and me.

Daughter clung to me, sobbing into my shoulder. I realized just how strong my daughter is when she helped her dad close up the grave and put the shovels away...the scene of the two of them is burned into my memory. Hubby and I went in the house and when I looked out the window Daughter was kneeling beside the grave; I can't help but wonder what she was thinking, what final words she had for her dear friend. The rest of the afternoon was spent looking through old family photos; I didn't realize we had so many pictures of the dogs; I've been asked to scan them. Conversations focused around not only Mae, but around other family members that have passed on. Hubby's dad, other dogs, my mom. Death and grief have dominated our hearts this week.

I don't know how the rest of the week went for Daughter, how she coped...she doesn't say much. She hung Mae's collar chain on the rear view window in her car. I know I have done a lot of crying this week, remembering the day, remembering the pain on my Daughter's tear stained face, remembering what it felt like to lose someone I love; death just seems to hang in the air and I've been unable to shake it.

Looking at these pictures one wonders why she was put down; we have to remind ourselves of the pain she was in, the fact that she fell down the steps on a regular basis and sometimes had to be carried as well as the fact she probably had cancer. 

Saturday I had chili to make for Sunday dinner, stew to make for suppers for this week, the usual cleaning to do and I wound up going to pick blueberries with some women from church. I picked 2 gallons and paid $19.50. Sunday I cleaned and packaged them up for the freezer. We also had our Music Teacher's Association planning meeting. I feel so out of place in that group. 

I've been feeling overwhelmed; trying to get past the grief, trying to keep up with an increasingly busy schedule, worrying about Hubby and what he's going through with the business. It's not good...not at all. Something needs to happen, something needs to change, but I don't know what and I can't help but be fearful. 

This is a very busy week - all my students will be returning and I'm meeting some new ones.

Saying Goodbye

The last few days have been rough ones and I imagine another few yet to come. Today we say goodbye to our friend, Mae. Mae came into our family for our youngest daughter. Looking back, Mae was way too much dog for such a little girl and for that reason, much of the care fell to Dad. Now that Mae is so crippled up and seems to have cancer, it's time to say goodbye.

The vet is coming by the house today as he goes right past here anyway on his way to an equine appointment. In order to save some money, Hubby decided to bury her in the backyard and after two exhausting attempts to dig a hole and finding nothing but unmovable rock, he gave up...that is until Daughter came home. She came in at the end of my teaching day and broke down in tears as the reality of what was soon to take place finally hit. She went outside to find where her dad had dug only to find nothing. I had to explain her dad's problem and how after two tries he decided "I'M NOT DIGGIN" ANOTHER HOLE". :/ Through tearful sobs Daughter says..."I will dig the hole". Her dad shrugged his shoulders and said "well, we still have a little light left" and the two of them went to the backyard and dug one more hole. They took turns, allowing the other to rest a spell. Mae went outside to be near them and it was completely dark out before they finished. I'm not as close to her as the two of them are, so I will have to be the strong one, yet, seeing my loved ones so sad just makes my heart ache.

In other news, the church voted 29-2 in favor of purchasing the organ!! I'm so excited, but at the same time, nervous about so much. The stress is just now beginning as we have to pay for it, have it shipped, install it, tune it voice it...so much! Hubby has been waking in the middle of the night after having bad dreams about dropping it on it's way into the church, etc.

Ok, well I really wanted to write more, but the morning is getting away from me and I have a lot to do before the vet arrives and the rest of the day goes to you-know-what. I hope to check out all of your epistles some time later today.