Bible Study and Sunflowers

Lots of random thoughts going through my mind today. 

I already mentioned my mother's birthday which was Tuesday this week. I decided to make her cake after all, it was just the thing to do and because my 9x13 pan was in the sink soaking off the baked on BBQ sauce from the ribs this week, I pulled out her old round cake pans that have the lever (for lack of a better word) that slides around the pan to loosen the cake. They don't make 'em like that anymore...I always thought that was so cool, so much so that I found some at a garage sale and bought each of my daughter's a set. Both girls took them for a while and then returned them saying they would never use them. 😮 I saved them for a while but when my daughter began to complain about how much stuff I had I decided to let the garage sale pans go. My mother's pans will have to be pulled from my cold, dead hands LOL! 

This is an Oatmeal Cake. Funny story...I was recently chatting with my brother online, we don't talk much...haven't talked much...ever. Anyway, we were chatting about things Mom used to cook and he was asking for some of her recipes. I asked him if he remembered Oatmeal Cake and he said no but that he remembered her spice cake. I didn't remember any spice cake but got to thinking maybe he meant the Oatmeal Cake after all. I asked him about the frosting because the frosting on Oatmeal Cake is very different and he said that was the spice cake. I then had to laugh out loud because I remembered my Mom telling him it was spice cake because she knew he wouldn't eat it if he knew it's real name! I even remembered her telling me it was our secret. Oh the memories that story brought back. My brother was a bit put out that I had kept that secret all these years, but honestly, I had forgotten about it. Oddly enough there are many people I serve this cake to that won't take it because of it's name. The same holds true for my Oatmeal Pie. Their loss. 

Technology has not been kind to me this week. Has anyone else recently tried to change the background on their blog? I tried again last night and still no go. I do not understand why this won't work. I even went to a different background site and the same thing happened so it must be an issue with blogger. I will try again when I'm finished posting this. 

A while ago...probably a long while ago now, I posted about taking some friends from church on an organ crawl to several of the organs in our area. This was shortly after we got the new organ at church and I had sent out an invitation for people to come take a look at it and see how it worked and what it could do. These two were the only ones who took me up on it. After we looked at it, it only gave them an appetite for more so we visited pipe organs and had a great time getting to know each other. As a result of that day, they have become great friends and she and I started to walk this summer and have a Bible Study together. I can tell there are many more adventures ahead for the two of us. I had noticed she's been carrying around a tumbler for water that has a lid and a straw...she takes it everywhere and I thought if I had one like it, maybe it would be easier to drink the large amounts of water I'm supposed to take in each day. I looked and looked and couldn't find one and today she brought me one she found and bought for me. It holds a big 32 oz., I have already put it to use and I can already tell it's going to be helpful! 

Is anyone familiar with the movie Calendar Girls? 

I watched it again recently and find myself identifying with the characters so much more this time....probably because I'm much closer to their age this time and have been feeling so pushed aside because I'm old. If you know the movie, you've heard this: 

The flowers of Yorkshire

Are like the women of Yorkshire.

Every stage of their growth has its own beauty,

But the last phase is always the most glorious.

Then very quickly they all go to seed.

Which makes it ironic my favorite flower

Isn’t even indigenous to the British Isles, let alone Yorkshire.

I don’t think there’s anything on this planet

That more trumpets life than the sunflower.

For me, that’s because of the reason behind its name.

Not because it looks like the sun

But because it follows the sun.

During the course of the day,

The head tracks the journey of the sun across the sky.

A satellite dish for sunshine.

Wherever light is, No matter how weak,

These flowers will find it.

And that’s such an admirable thing.

And such a lesson in life.

We talked about this at Bible Study today (not the movie but the idea of feeling put on a shelf or shoved aside) and it seems it's a real problem with many our age in our church lately. I found out it's not just me feeling this way. I don't know what I'm going to do about it, if anything but I can't help but feel I want to be respected and listened to and like the women in the movie I want to make a change...do something that matters. My friend and I invited others to join us in our Bible study and I'm excited to be reaching out to these women who are feeling the same way we are. I hope this is the beginning of something wonderful for us and for the church.  

"Every stage of their growth has its own beauty,

But the last phase is always the most glorious."

The strangest thing happened this year, we had some sunflowers pop up unexpectedly in our garden. We didn't plant them, but there they were and perfectly situated right in the back corner. So lovely! Such a gift! Again I am reminded of the prose from the movie,

"Wherever light is, No matter how weak,

These flowers will find it.

And that’s such an admirable thing.

And such a lesson in life."

The sunflowers in my garden have now withered and gone to seed...but I have not! I still have years of service left if the Lord so wills. So when I think of following the sun, I am reminded to follow the SON.

Hodgepodge

It's been a while, but I am looking forward to touching base with the great folks over at Hodgepodge this week:

 1.  Have you ever spent time on a farm? Tell us a little bit about it. Have you ever grown your own pumpkin? Been on a hayride? Driven a tractor? Milked a cow?

I can't think of any particular visit to a farm, although I think I was on one or two during my years in high school/college when I toured with choirs. I have never grown a pumpkin, but this year my husband planted squash and we enjoyed our first one tonight for supper. It was quite tasty! I have been on a hayride or two but I've never driven a tractor or milked a cow. 

2. What's something younger you would like about you now? 

That's a tough question and I've very interested to read the answers from others. I guess I would have to say that I'm young at heart. 

3. What are three things you'd like to do more often? Three things you'd like to do less often?

Three things I'd like to do more often...exercise, scrapbook, generally have more time for myself. Three things I'd like to do less often...cook, clean, put my needs last.

4. What's on your nachos?

Cheese, onions, black olive, taco meat
5. What's the most random thing in your purse or wallet? Does it need to stay there?

I guess it would be my eyeglass  cleaning cloth. I suppose it doesn't need to stay there seeing as how I never use it...just my shirt tail. 

6.  Insert your own random thought here.

I cannot figure out what's going on with my blog. I have tried for 2 evenings now to change the background with a code from cutest blog on the block. I have completely erased the code I no longer need and replaced it with new code but the old background keeps coming up. Yes...I made sure to hit save. How is this even possible?? 

Good Evening

I wanted to touch base with all of you dear people who read and responded so kindly to my last post. I see I could have some very dear friends here and I hope we get to know each other well and that happens sooner than later. I know the ball is in my court so to speak. 

Thank you Terri D. You're right in many ways and not the first to suggest we leave. My husband and I have discussed the possibility of changing churches, but there are people there we have worshiped with for 30 years now and to think of leaving just makes our hearts ache. Someday that "last straw" may fall, but until then I must find a way to cope while I continue to serve in my limited way. 

Barbara, I LOVE how you refer to your husband as Beloved!! That is so beautiful and I wish I had thought of that. I refer to mine as Hubby, but I don't care for it. I would love to find something else. Thank you for your understanding comments. Our church is indeed trying a blended service, but it just isn't working yet because there is no unity and because they insist on choosing new music that doesn't work well for congregational singing. It's so terribly sad. I would love to visit a church where they have done this successfully. I maintain it can be done...but certainly not the way we're doing it. 

Thank you too Mrs. T. I agree it is more of a heart issue than a music issue, but it seems they always seem to use the music and the organ specifically as a scapegoat. 

I will have an update on the situation again soon...there is more to tell. I have so much to catch up on in my blogging world. 

Today is my mother's birthday. She went to be with her Lord and savior in 2008, but today would have been her 90th. We were extremely close so I always celebrate. If she were here today I would have taken her to the new fish and chips restaurant in town and I would have baked her an Oatmeal Cake. I almost baked the cake anyway, but decided against it for diet/health reasons. I would love to share a picture but I can't get my Chromebook to recognize my external hard drive and I don't know what to do about it. I read somewhere that I would have to back up the files then reformat the drive but that is where I back up my files. I'm a tad miffed. I may have to take over the ancient desktop in the basement. 

I also tried to change the background on my blog today. I love the pink roses, but I wanted something more fall like. I found some nice ones at cutest blog on the block and copied the code etc. but it still comes up roses! How is that even possible when I erased one code and added a new?? I may post this, then try shutting down my computer and trying all over again. 

I have more to share, but I think I will try to visit some of you instead. Daughter and I were watching the moon light up the moving clouds tonight so this sig tag is perfect. 

A Slow Moving Hodgepodge

1. 'Slow and steady wins the race'...tell us about a time this was true in your own life. 

In my life this is true of everyday. I am continually telling my piano students to slow down because when we try to play too fast before we're ready we miss things and we make mistakes. It's a good life lesson as well. 

2. 'As slow as molasses'...Do you like molasses? How about maple syrup? Caramel? Butterscotch? What's your favorite of the slow moving treats mentioned here, and what's your favorite food made with that sweet treat? 

I don't care much for molasses. I do like caramel and butterscotch but my favorite in the list is maple syrup. Living up here in the far north I can get my hands on real maple syrup. I never had the real thing until I moved here, and boy was I missing out on something growing up! My kids got this special treat when they went to grandma's house, but I wouldn't buy it because they would dump on way too much and due to the fact it is expensive and a special treat it should be used sparingly. However, now that we are, for the most part "empty-nesters" genuine maple syrup is now all I'll buy. It's my special treat for growing old and sending my kids out on their own. 😉 Plus, it's better for us than the processed stuff. 

3. Your favorite slow song? 

To Where You Are by Josh Groban

4. Your favorite thing to make in a slow cooker or crock pot? 

Either my lasagna or my enchiladas. Both are favorites in our family and since I found crock pot recipes for them I'll never make them any other way. 

5. 'You may delay, but time will not.' ~Benjamin Franklin Are you more a hurrier or a delayer when it comes to unpleasant tasks that need doing? What are you currently either delaying or hurrying to get through this week or month?

I'm a delayer. I think there are several things on my list that I keep putting off. Life is a bit overwhelming right now and when I'm overwhelmed I tend to just give up until I can find some motivation. 
6. Tell us three things you encounter regularly or even just occasionally that you find to be annoyingly slow.

As a church organist I find some of the songs we sing in church annoyingly slow and that's the perfect description. I set the tempo in my introduction which is what I'm supposed to do as the organist, then the song leader and the pianist come in and drag us all down. There have been lots and lots of complaints about our music lately and I think this is one of the reasons yet they just keep grinding them down into the depths of kill- me- now -boring and most of the people complaining blame the "organ". UGH!

7. March is National Craft Month. Are you crafty? Tell us about something crafty you'll try in the next thirty one days. Or something crafty you'd like to try or wish you had the skill to make happen. 

I am crafty and although I won't be trying a new kind of craft, I'm always working on a new project. I love to scrapbook, make greeting cards and I belong to an Artist Trading Card group so I always have a new challenge. Our crafting group will be getting together on Saturday for an all day craft day. We do this about every 2nd month or so. 

8. Insert your own random thought here. 

My blog time is suffering lately as are some other things in my life. It's been a very busy week and it's only Wednesday. There are several things that have been added to my already busy teaching and practicing schedule by family and church. I'm going to have to sacrifice some practice time this week in order to get it all done and I'm not happy about it. Having to share a vehicle is also making things complicated. I can't wait until Hubby's truck is repaired. 

Thank you for visiting, have a wonderful rest of the week.

Spring Fever

The grocery store had these on display last week which only seemed to fuel everyone's spring fever...including mine. I couldn't help but stop and take a picture. I wanted so much to buy one but I was afraid I'd kill it before I had a chance to get it in the ground. When I stopped in this week I noticed they were all gone. 

We have had unseasonably warm temperatures this year, especially the last couple of weeks. Here's an idea of what I mean:

Our pastor's son trying to clear 3 feet of snow off their porch 3 years ago: 

Downtown last year: 

Downtown yesterday:

Blue skies, bare streets and sidewalks...I'll take it!

Our yard today:

GRASS!!!

I've never seen this in February!!

We've had some beautiful sunrises for this time of year as well:

Temperatures have been in the 40's and last night we had wind and rain which always speeds up the melting process. 

For those of you thinking spring has arrived to the frozen north...no such luck. Winter temperatures and a mix of rain and snow are on tap for the weekend. I am beginning to wonder though if we just might get an early spring. "Early spring" for us means anything before mid April. The snow usually doesn't even consider melting anytime before April 15th. 

The studio has been so quiet the last couple of weeks. The kids in town have all been so sick. There are several bugs moving through, colds, sinus infections and several strains of flu. I have had some of my students out for 2 weeks which means my bank account is getting angry. 

In trying to make lemonade out of the lemons I've been dealt I decided since the students weren't coming it would be a good time to reorganize my craft supplies that live in the studio. 

I made a big mess! 

The upside is things are in better storage solutions but the downside is nothing looks any different. Most of my reorganization was in the closet. It's ok...next time I start a project I should be able to find what I need without too much frustration. 

The spring like weather is making Gibbs extra playful as well. One of my students that actually made it to lessons last week was not giving Gibbs the attention and playtime he thought he should have. Afterall, didn't this young man come to the house specifically to play? 

Yes dear Gibbs...play the piano...not play with you! 😉

"Please, please play with me". Says Gibbs

 Since he didn't get what he wanted, he decided to nap on mom and dad's bed.

One of the books I'm reading talks about being present and in the moment and also to be thankful so I leave you with this today. 

'

Hodgepodge

1. Have you ever been fishing? Did you catch a fish? If so did you keep it or throw it back? If you haven't been fishing is that something you'd like to try? 

I have been fishing, it's not my favorite thing to do. I didn't catch anything but my husband did. We were on a weekend trip to a mountain resort and we borrowed an old beat up pole with brittle line from the lodge. He caught a beautiful rainbow trout  within just a few minutes of being out there which made one of the other guests angry because he'd been out for hours with top of the line equipment and never did catch anything. He was quite jealous when we were eating our trout that evening after it had been specially prepared by the lodge. Oh my was it ever good! 

Fish out of water, big fish in a small pond, living in a fishbowl, packed in like sardines, this is a fine kettle of fish, plenty of fish in the sea, fish or cut bait...which fishy phrase most recently applies to some area of your life?

I almost always feel like a fish out of water. I'm always uncomfortable trying to carry on a conversation, especially in a group...like our small group Bible Study. I'm not sure why but it's always been that way and seems to be getting worse instead of better as I grow older.  

2. What's something you're always fishing for in your purse, wallet, desk, or kitchen junk drawer?

I don't like fishing for things so I try very hard to stay organized and know where my things are. Once in awhile though, especially if I just did some cleaning I'll forget the new home of something. I can't think of any one thing that I am always fishing for. 

3. Your favorite fish tale or movie?

I have two believe it or not. The Incredible Mr. Limpet and one more" recent",  Finding Nemo. 

4. Are you sunrise, daylight, twilight or night? Explain why you chose your answer.

I guess I'd have to say daylight. I am the most productive late morning to mid-afternoon. I like the daylight most especially if the sun is out. Once the sun goes down so do I. 

5. What's the oldest piece of clothing you own and still wear?

Unfortunately my dress size goes up and down so much that I toss things out of frustration. I do have some graphic tees from my days as a Curves For Women Employee that I still wear around the house when I clean or work out. They must be about 10-12 years old by now. 

6. We've got one more month of (officially) winter here in the Northern hemisphere. Are you feeling the need for a getaway? What's been the best and worst part of your winter so far?

I'm not so much in the need of a getaway, I just need spring. The best part of the winter has been the unusually warm temperatures for this area. It's truly been like spring the last few days and it's been so wonderful. The worst part has been Hubbies accidents. In December he was knocked down on the ice while refereeing a hockey game and broke his clavicle and then in January he was on his way home from a game, hit a patch of black ice and rolled his truck. He walked away with no injuries, but the truck is still in the shop for repair. 

7.  The Wednesday Hodgepodge lands on National Margarita Day...will you be celebrating? Frozen or on the rocks? Are you a Jimmy Buffet fan? If so, what's your favorite JB tune?

I most likely will not be celebrating, though I'd love to. We have a restaurant here that makes very good Margaritas. I prefer them frozen. No, not a JB fan. 

8.  Insert your own random thought here.

We have been teased with spring so much the last few days. I plan to post some pictures. I'm also loving the longer days and the sunrises and sunsets we have been enjoying. 

Night Night

Not much to report. 

God has been good and most days I move through my day with with ease and grace. Our situation hasn't improved and the what-if's haunt me from time to time, but God is faithful and reminds me again and again that He's got this.

The house is quiet tonight. Hubby has hockey to ref and daughter is who-knows-where. I needed the quiet...needed an evening to just do what I wanted when I wanted and have no fear of being in someone else's way or being judged for what I was doing or wasn't doing. 

Before I went to practice and after I cleaned the house and prepared supper I made a couple of cards for our newly formed card club with our local crafters group. Each month each person creates a new greeting card that follows the theme for the month, uploads it to our Facebook page, shares a little about it, etc. Each month's theme is something for the upcoming month/season/holiday. Today I finished my card for March...I actually made two and can't decide which to upload. The theme for March is St. Patrick's or spring, but it needs to have some green goin' on. Since I don't send out St. Patty's Day cards I'll save the one with the ribbon and flowers for my daughter and son-in-law's anniversary in August since the ribbon on there is leftover from their wedding. The card club idea has been great so far. It's forcing me to get some cards made, pushing my creativity forward and getting our group talking and interacting again...all pluses in my book. 

I'm having some trouble lately with my hands and wrists...it's making things difficult for me when I practice. I'm not sure if it's carpel tunnel, arthritis or just what is going on but I sure hope I can make some changes that will turn it around soon.

It's cold tonight...

I don't usually take showers at night but I did tonight and I took my time to enjoy the warmth of the water and then I took time to moisturize every inch of me. It's getting to be that time of year when the gray, bleakness starts taking it's toll and one needs to spend some time once in a while just enjoying some basic take-care-of-me time. 

I'll be heading to bed soon but before I do I'll finish up my me-time ritual with some tennis ball therapy, stretches and deep breathing exercises. I'll sleep like a baby tonight. 

Good night...
                    Sleep tight...

A Hodgepodge That's Easy To Love

1. What's the last thing you did that someone else thought was super? 

I took a couple of friends on a tour of local pipe organs and they loved every minute. 

2. The last thing you ate that tasted superb? 

My oatmeal pie

3. Supersensitive, superstitious, superwoman, superambitious, supercilious, supervisor, superficial...pick a super word from the list and tell us how it relates to your life in some way recently or currently. 

The word I choose is superficial. With only one or two exceptions, most of the relationships I have in life right now are superficial.

4. Do you love easily? If you're comfortable doing so, explain why you think that is. 

I used to but I've been hurt so many times I am very cautious now. 

5. Valentine's Day lands on a Tuesday this year. Will you mark the day in some way? If you're celebrating with a dinner out somewhere will it be on Tuesday or will you celebrate over the weekend? 

Hubby has hockey that night so I'm not sure if I'll do a special meal at home or not. He traditionally buys me a few red roses and I'll make him a card and give him a special candy bar. 

6. What's something you are loving right now? 

My bowl of popcorn, it's my favorite snack

7 Write a three word (or less) phrase you'd like to see on a Valentine candy heart.  

"I'll do dishes"

8.  Insert your own random thought here. 

I'm praising God my Hubby wasn't injured in a roll-over accident this past weekend. He was on his way home from a refereeing assignment, hit some black ice and rolled his truck off the shoulder. No bumps, not even a scratch. We're still waiting to hear back from the insurance adjuster. 

​Julie

 

Stains

 Isaiah 1:18 

“Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the Lord, “Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool.

The stain in the above photo is on my desk calendar. It's a tea stain; stained every page from February to December. I actually thought it was kind of interesting...looks a bit like a heart shape. I'll probably turn it into a background for one of my ATC cards because a fellow crafty friend of mine has repeatedly shown me how such things that we'd normally throw away can be turned into interesting pieces of art. 

Stains

They come in all shapes and sizes and colors...they're usually something most of us prefer to avoid...more often than not, they ruin something...and unless you're lucky or a talented household engineer with fantastic knowledge of just the right stain removing recipe, they often make the stained object worthless for anything except the trash bin. 

What happens when the stained object is something of great value? Something we just can't throw away? A beautiful dress, a family heirloom quilt, historic documents, the family Bible. What if the stain isn't that easy to remove? What about stains that can't be treated with a laundry recipe? What about stains to the heart? What about a stained life? What about two lives...or what about a stain on an entire family? How do you deal with those kinds of stains? Is it possible for something so horribly stained to become something of beauty?

                                         Those kinds of stains

                                                 are deep

                                               and painful

And in the middle of the night while trying to sleep on a tear stained pillow, we know those kinds of stains may fade over time but will forever have colored our lives and there is just no way to make it go away. 

The week isn't anywhere near over and yet it's been very long as we struggle to comprehend the incomprehensible...the unthinkable. If I could only go back in time...could I have done something...anything to make this story have a different ending? If I could, would I? Probably...is that the best thing? I don't know. Is that a slap in God's face...to basically say I would have done it differently, my life wouldn't have turned out this way if I was is charge. Do you really know what you're doing? Oh my, that wasn't my intention when I was thinking that, but that's where that kind of thinking goes. 

 In her book One Thousand Gifts Ann Voskamp writes,

 "Maybe you don't want to change the story, because you don't know what a different ending holds." There's a reason I am not writing the story and God is. he knows how it all works out, where it all leads, what it all means. 

                                    I don't."

"Maybe...I guess...it's accepting there are things we simply don't understand. But He does. And I see. At least a bit more. When we find ourselves groping along, famished for more, we can choose. When we are despairing, we can choose to live as Israelites, gathering manna. For forty long years, God's people daily eat manna--a substance whose name literally means 'What is it?' Hungry, they choose to gather up that which is baffling. They fill on that which has no meaning, More than 14,600 days they take their daily nourishment from that which they don't comprehend. They find soul-filling in the inexplicable. They eat the mystery. And the mystery, that which made no sense, is 'like wafers of honey' on the lips." 

I read the chapter containing this paragraph just days before the unthinkable, incomprehensible stain was made evident. Now I wonder...is it possible? Is it that this mystery, this stain, this loss might somehow be able to nourish me? My family? 

Ann continues..."I wonder too...if the rent in the canvas of our life backdrop, the losses that puncture our world our own emptiness, might actually become places to see. 

                                          To see through to 

                                                   God. 

That which tears open our souls, those holes that splatter our sight, may actually become the thin, open places to see through the mess of this place to the heart-aching beauty beyond. To Him. To the God whom we endlessly crave. 

Maybe so.

But how? How do we choose to allow the holes to become seeing-through-to-God places? To more-God places? How do I give up resentment for gratitude, gnawing anger for spilling joy? Self-focus for God-communion. To fully live- to live full of grace and joy and all that is beauty eternal. 

It is possible, wildly."

Really??? Is it possible? To feel joy again? Happiness? Peace of mind and soul and heart? Is there anyway God can be glorified in this MESS? 

The pain, the guilt, the fear...it all gripped me like a vise. I wasn't able to pray...I could barely breathe in and out. 

And then today...I sighed a prayer...God, please heal this, please bring restoration, please be glorified, please fix this.

It was a simple prayer...

it's all I could dredge up from my shattered soul and suddenly it came. I've heard of people testify of peace coming over them, but I've never felt it in such a profound way in my own life...not like this. Suddenly... and I do mean suddenly, the three day old headache was gone, the what-ifs and whys stopped spinning around in my head at dizzying speeds and the guilt...that horrible guilt...it faded and I was able to think more clearly without choking on tears every few minutes. I was able to move through my day and actually function and do my job. God told me I had done the best I could with the knowledge and resources I had available to me at the time and it was not my fault...it was not my fault. We will deal with the pain together...He will be there...He is here. 

I know the pain will come again, the tears will flow again...this story is not over and the restoration process has not yet really even begun, but I believe God will put His loving arms around me again when the time comes and help me endure. I will continue to struggle to trust God to bring nourishment from this that I do not comprehend and I must trust Him that love will win out, that He promises to  be with us because...

                    Jesus paid it all, 

                     all to Him I owe; 

                         sin had left a crimson stain,

                               He washed it white as snow.