 | My Mother's Ring | for Julie's contacts |
This
was my mother's ring. I apologize for the blurry image, it's the best I
could get. She inherited it from her uncle John who was her mother's
brother; they both had birthday's in October and it was their birth
stone. Over the years she believed it to be a genuine opal, but after
receiving my first genuine opal and comparing the two, I was pretty sure
it was fake. I never told her that though because it probably would
have broke her heart. She loved this ring and wore it all the time. I
rarely if ever remember seeing her hand without it on her finger. She
always promised me someday it would be mine since I also have a birthday
in October. When I moved her here from Colorado, she had lost so much weight that it was always falling off, so I took her to a jewelry store to see what could be done. She refused to let him size it down - altering it was out of the question, so we bought the kind of size adjusters that fit inside the ring and that worked for a while until her memory lapse caused her to forget why it was there and she removed it out of frustration and lost it. I couldn't see the point in trying that again. I kept an eye on it as much as I could, but when she got so bad that I had to place her in the nursing home I knew somehow I would have to get the ring away from her or risk losing it forever. I was torn. I absolutely hated myself for convincing her to let me take care of it, yet I knew in my heart as soon as it was off her finger, she'd most likely forget all about it and I knew it was for the best. Still, it was so very hard and not the way I wanted to inherit the ring. I hoped that one day she would make a gift of it and give it willingly, but that didn't happen - still I know she wanted me to have it and I would have felt just as bad if not worse had it gotten lost at the home somewhere, or one of the other residents took it from her. I hold on to the promise that it was to be mine and the truth that had she been in a better mind-set she would have given it willingly some day.
Shortly after the ring became mine, I began to wear it and as soon as I did the band split in back. I took it to the jeweler and had it repaired, but it wasn't long before it happened again and I took it back. This time he did a much better job and I haven't had that problem again. I was amazed when he returned it to me because he also shined the silver and polished the stone which had seen much abuse over the years. It was beautiful!
The ring is now a connection to my mom that I can't even express in words. I wear it on special occasions - those times in my life when my mom should be by my side, like organ events and piano recitals and my daughter's wedding. Some days I wear it for no other reason than I need her to comfort me and somehow the ring makes me feel as though she is here with me. It wraps around my finger like her arms used to wrap around me in an embrace of love. I wear it today for that reason - the last couple of days I have felt so out of place - like I don't belong anywhere, I don't fit in, I'm discouraged and frustrated with things I'm trying to do, I feel disconnected from everyone I care about and love. Everyone seems so far away. I need that connection to someone today...I need someone to wrap their arms around me and tell me they will always be there for me no matter what and that they will support me. My mom always did that for me.
Despite how this sounds, I'm not having a pity-party - just trying to describe my heart and this very special ring and all it means to me.
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