 | Pansies For Mama | for Julie's contacts |
Mother's
Day has always been a special time for my Mom and me. I think my
favorite was in 1985. My son was almost a year old, and my husband said
he'd spend the day with him so Mom and I could have the entire day
to ourselves. The first thing on the agenda was a trip to the hair salon
where I paid to have my Mom's hair cut and permed. After that we
spent a good bit of time checking out a new mall in town and then
enjoying a salad lunch. We spent so much time talking and laughing that
day. We were best friends, something none of my other friends could
understand. Even after we moved away and could no longer spend
Mother'™s Day together, we spent hours on the phone. We never had to
search for something to talk about, and no matter what had happened to
me, or what I had troubling me, she always listened, and always
understood. She was always on my side.
Yesterday
I bought my mom'™s favorite flowers and potted them. She always
said she liked pansies because they looked like they had little faces,
besides, they were her mom'™s favorite flower. She never saw a pansy
that she didn'™t think about her mother, and now I know exactly how
she felt. Today I walked into the dementia wing of the nursing home
with pansies in hand and found her sitting at a table. When I walked
around to face her and touched her shoulder, I thought my heart had sunk
to my feet when I looked at the confused look on her face and she
looked up at me and said œwho are you? I swallowed hard and
told her my name, hoping something would register, but I feared telling
her I was her daughter. Even though she liked the pansies, and the smile
they brought to her face was wonderful to see, she treated me like a
perfect stranger. We talked about nothing and admired the pansies. Soon a
bingo game started up, and I helped her find the letters and numbers on
her card. She was the first one to get BINGO and was thrilled when she
was awarded a banana. Something happened during that game that I
don’t think I can find a way to put into words, but for a few
minutes there, she was laughing and teasing with me just like old times.
There was a magical connection that I just can'™t describe and I
know she felt it too, or she wouldn'™t have been acting the way she
was. When it was time for me to go, I asked her for a hug, she nodded
and held out her arms. She hugged me so hard and squeezed so tight, it
was nearly like if she squeezed hard enough the nightmare would end and
we would pull back and look at each other and everything would be as it
was before. I squeezed my eyes tight hoping for the same thing.
The
rest of the day I spent with my two daughters. We ate at Taco Bell and
shopped at Walmart. I was so grateful for their company, their youth and
their banter. They helped to bring back the joy that mother's and
daughter's can share together.
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